“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now give us a moment. (Pause.) You are financially secure. Ruburt’s classes will not suffer despite appearances (the energy crisis). Much of what I said last evening applied to you, Joseph. Ruburt, so sensitive to your moods, and being self-conditioned to some extent himself negatively, reacted. He wanted to help you, and felt powerless to a large extent.

Ruburt was already leery of putting his physical condition to the test of the trip, and so easily acquiesced, worried also that perhaps he would lose out on Aspects, that was already contracted for.

(9:55.) Give us a moment.... You both are so afraid of being tied down however that even in the apartment you did not allow yourselves really to feel at home—to buy your furniture, cheap or expensive. You love and hate family, precisely as Ruburt does. He because he never really had one, and you because you did.

A house in town reminds you each of family living, and you of your neighborhood. At the same time for all your protest, the (to me) apartment noises are comforting. You interpret them as conflicts. They remind you of the noises in your family home, conflicting and yet comforting. You rail at them, railing at your parents’ arguments. To Ruburt the sounds are reassuring. He is not alone with his mother any more.

Some of the symptoms then were indeed to insure your joint work integrity. You identified as a child whose presence betrayed its father, your father being forced to support you, particularly in the Depression. Ruburt as you know had his own reasons. Ruburt’s relative immobility kept him childless. You were turned off physically often, or he was not able to perform when you were not turned off.

You have never allowed yourselves creative decorating freedom here, for example, and thus denied yourselves considerable satisfaction. Now the walking is directly involved with all of this. With the ideas of either buying a house or going to Florida, and what these issues involve in line with your current beliefs as given. Your mother’s death makes Ruburt want to go further inward for more answers. At the same time he is trying to make outer decisions.