“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Both of you have kept yourselves uneasy in your environment lest you become too comfortable. You concentrate upon the annoyances of your neighbors lest you become too close to them and emotionally involved and touched. You have lived here some years yet purposely avoided thinking of it, this apartment, as anything but transitory lest you put down roots and become involved in ways that might distract you from your work and purposes. Give us a moment.... You do not buy much furniture so that the idea of being transitory is more convincing. At the same time you stay where you are so you can work, while denying yourselves the sense of ease that you could otherwise enjoy.

(9:55.) Give us a moment.... You both are so afraid of being tied down however that even in the apartment you did not allow yourselves really to feel at home—to buy your furniture, cheap or expensive. You love and hate family, precisely as Ruburt does. He because he never really had one, and you because you did.

Each of you sees buying a house now as a threat, though you are at times tempted. You have always seen family life yourself as a threat to artistic production, and the first thing you would do if you had a house would be to build a studio outside of it. You did not want children. Whatever methods Ruburt chose to insure that you were childless you proclaimed with joy, glad that you were not the woman.

Now: the other side of the picture. Ruburt sought you out for much the same reasons, with reincarnational background to be given. But Ruburt was the female: you would not bear any child, so the effort had to be strong on his part. Thoughts of buying a house throw both of you into a quandary because they directly come in conflict with your private ideas about your work and purposes, and your places in the world.

You have never allowed yourselves creative decorating freedom here, for example, and thus denied yourselves considerable satisfaction. Now the walking is directly involved with all of this. With the ideas of either buying a house or going to Florida, and what these issues involve in line with your current beliefs as given. Your mother’s death makes Ruburt want to go further inward for more answers. At the same time he is trying to make outer decisions.