“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

In the face of this he threw even greater determination into his work and his “success” (in quotes), to make up for what he felt as other deficiencies. All areas became therefore more sensitive. Blame was projected by him upon other areas, because only when he allowed his thoughts to really surface would he blame you in any way. And when he did he felt guilty because he knew that you did (underlined) love him.

Self-protection kept you from doing so. Your love for him in the beginning was strong enough to release you to some degree, so he knew it was in you. He felt it, and he was furious after the taste of it to have it for any reason withheld.

The symptoms were also a protection. He was trying to hold back, so as not to be rearroused by promises only to be turned off again as you withdrew. There is a connection of course with his mother’s reaction, simply a habit pattern where she would tell Ruburt she loved him, and then in Ruburt’s eyes be cruel.

This was still however you see quite selfish, in that you are the person he wants. He was willing to do it. He is not looking for an endless adolescent love affair, but in his terms (underlined) the simple emotional creature love, support, that he felt you must, because of your nature, largely withhold.

He tried to show you his love, but finally he became ashamed of needing you, and felt even that you thought less of him because of it. It bothered and annoyed you, since it was a demand, and he did not believe in demands, and one that brought problems up within you.