“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

In the face of this he threw even greater determination into his work and his “success” (in quotes), to make up for what he felt as other deficiencies. [...] Blame was projected by him upon other areas, because only when he allowed his thoughts to really surface would he blame you in any way. And when he did he felt guilty because he knew that you did (underlined) love him.

[...] He kept trying to get your attention with the symptoms while using them to protect himself at the same time, unless he saw signs of the particular warmth and acceptance he needed. He felt he could not afford to let the symptoms go unless he was willing to give you up entirely, and he would not do that.

He felt that for all your talk you wanted him to discipline spontaneity in a way basically impossible for him, that to release it in physical terms would mean two dangers: You would find him unbearable; and his sexuality released, would then demand fulfillment. He feared he would look elsewhere. You schooled yourself not to display emotion of a warm, spontaneous, happy nature, and he needs that kind of display.

[...] On the other hand he almost would have settled for the words. [...] Where you two had been emotionally allied, he felt you were on the other side. As he must watch himself before the world, he must watch himself before you.

This was still however you see quite selfish, in that you are the person he wants. He was willing to do it. He is not looking for an endless adolescent love affair, but in his terms (underlined) the simple emotional creature love, support, that he felt you must, because of your nature, largely withhold.

[...] Your love for him in the beginning was strong enough to release you to some degree, so he knew it was in you. He felt it, and he was furious after the taste of it to have it for any reason withheld.

As he told you, he fought for it. [...] After a point his stubbornness was aroused, and he felt that you wanted him to beg for what should be his. [...]

You were the one who could really hurt him if he let go, by your rejection of his emotional dimensions, he felt. He felt you only accepted certain portions of him. [...]

Whenever he began to improve some of these issues would become quite clear and obvious. On some ways the two apartments, he felt, were an honest symbol of your relationship. When he annoyed you by thrashing about in bed, this was of course what the thrashing about in bed was supposed to do—remind you of his presence there.

He felt you did not want him to get well, because you would then have these problems to consider, and they bothered you. On one hand then, he did not want you to have to contend with them, particularly if he could take the tension. [...]