“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This occurred precisely when you had strong doubts as to whether or not you should stay on the job, and strongly considered it would be best to leave. When you think of leaving you come face to face with the same conflict, for she wanted you to succeed as a commercial artist.

The job has served to keep you from realizing that. (True.) In writing the difficulty shows itself because you are trying not to communicate certain things to yourself. In other words, inhibited material, some that I have mentioned this evening that you have been thrusting aside. You have not wanted to know these things, considering that that they were beneath you, and strongly condemning any feelings that you could not accept as adult. And after your own lectures to Ruburt you should know better.

You were more affected by your friend’s (Curtis Kent) departure than you realize, wondering if you yourself should find a better-paying commercial job, and yet angry that you even had such thoughts when what you really wanted was to stay home and paint.

The episode also has some connections, again with your father, in that you feel sometimes, and subconsciously, that you will be old and trembly and still at the job. The departure of your friend serves to bring this up to your mind.

You need to take a reevaluation of your situation, and to act upon what you learn. This may or may not mean leaving the job, but it will mean a new awareness of all the issues involved, and your attitudes. Take your subconscious attitudes seriously. Consider them.

(“Well, I guess I’m beginning to. I have thought often that I’d leave the job eventually. I’ve especially begun to think this within the past year.”)