“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You have ambiguous feelings about Ruburt’s garden for this reason. You are pleased with his obvious productivity with plants, outside. You remember how strict your father was however, and methodical, in gardening. This annoyed you greatly, but now to some extent you identify with those leanings, and look down upon the garden when Ruburt does not find his way to follow the gardening rules.

There is simply a deep difference. Ruburt for example will enjoy and make use of whatever land he has, be it only the dirt in a window-sill plot. He does not have ambiguous feelings to supercharge his reactions in this particular area. To you this apartment house and its grounds are considered in terms of land, and dwelling. You think of the land you do not have. You have not been able to take advantage of the yard or the ground available as positive things of joy and refreshment, and have therefore been denied an extra advantage from this place, and the conditions that Ruburt has enjoyed.

While you want land, you also fear that it will tie you down, and to some extent your feelings are ambiguous. This added to the points mentioned earlier, has largely prevented any move; far more, I believe, than any financial considerations.

(I will make the attempt to change negative attitudes. I have often puzzled over our lack of action in seeking larger quarters, etc. My ambiguous feelings re owning land, rather than purely financial considerations, is quite instructive, etc.)