1 result for (book:tps1 AND session:379 AND stemmed:money)
4/48 (8%)
exercise
strenuous
relaxation
weapon
tremor
[... 15 paragraphs ...]
There was also an implied threat involved. You were trying to force yourself and yet punish yourself. Your mother was in the background here. You were trying to punish yourself for not making more money as an artist, since you still felt her old demands.
[... 1 paragraph ...]
The tremor represented guilt here, but also a threat, for you thought: before I will do this full time for money, my hand would fail. The tremor served two purposes in this respect. Your mother, incidentally, has largely given up focusing upon your artistic career in any way. She now simply wishes, as Ruburt knows, that you had taken up another profession. (And as I know now.)
She does not understand your goals. To her they are nongoals, for money is the basic one to her, the magic charm which in her mind makes all other benefits or comforts possible. She no longer considers your art either as a potential ally, as she did in earlier years, nor even as a threat as she did in later years.
It is simply a portion of you that she does not understand. To her it is a weapon that you have to force money from others, and a weapon you will not use. The word weapon is important here, for she believes that money must be forced from some unfriendly source.
[... 27 paragraphs ...]
