1 result for (book:tps1 AND session:379 AND stemmed:artist)
3/48 (6%)
exercise
strenuous
relaxation
weapon
tremor
[... 15 paragraphs ...]
There was also an implied threat involved. You were trying to force yourself and yet punish yourself. Your mother was in the background here. You were trying to punish yourself for not making more money as an artist, since you still felt her old demands.
At the same time you threatened yourself with the possibility of complete failure as an artist, almost in retaliation. (Pause, one of many through here.) You would not (underlined) be a full time commercial artist, regardless of any old demands, though you felt still somewhat guilty at your refusal.
The tremor represented guilt here, but also a threat, for you thought: before I will do this full time for money, my hand would fail. The tremor served two purposes in this respect. Your mother, incidentally, has largely given up focusing upon your artistic career in any way. She now simply wishes, as Ruburt knows, that you had taken up another profession. (And as I know now.)
[... 29 paragraphs ...]
