“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now. There is a point when you can take advantage of certain information, understand and perceive it. You always have the information but you must grow up to it, so to speak.

It may seem to you (Jane pointed to me) that this would not be the case, and that the caution is unnecessary. A part of you, however, does strongly resent the material benefits that you did derive from your early commercial work. There is a bitterness picked up from your family, working here. It is so well hidden that it has gone almost unrecognized. This is apart from your conflicting ideas concerning success, but colors them.

At times it masquerades as a distaste for material possessions, but often it is simply also resentment. In secret parts of yourself this does cause some considerable bitterness that works to your disadvantage. (Long pause.) You have been afraid of success for the reasons stated, yet resentful that you did not have the material acquisitions that go with it. (Pause.)

Indeed, you should expect it. You were almost putting the cart before the horse, but in a negative manner. The outflow of energy, the freeing of energy, into your work, automatically is determined by a general outflow of energy through all facets of your personality, that will automatically bring many different kinds of benefits, including financial ones.

On a physical level only, there were then some strains and tensions, fairly normal under the circumstances. On deeper levels however there was conflict, and normal enough rebellion considering the situation. (Pause.) The part of the self who considered the symptoms necessary, you see, has realized they are no longer necessary, but still some habit persists.

An unfortunate grouping of habits operating through the body are breaking up. Originally they had a purpose. It now no longer exists, but they still resent the breaking up; and Ruburt’s yells, quite involuntary, represented in fact the death throes of the symptoms, and the part of the self who had accepted them as an attempt to solve problems.

It was a rather frightening experience, but without it or without something very much like it, complete recovery could not occur.

There are still some lingerings of mourning, for the grouping was indeed vital, and adopted initially to help the personality. The grouping was doomed to failure, in that it could not succeed in helping the personality, you see, but hindered it.

When it realized this, then all nourishment was cut off. Not only did other elements of the personality begin to deny it energy, but it—this grouping —also committed suicide, so to speak, sacrificing itself for the whole personality which it tried to serve.

Give us a moment. (Pause, long.) The telegram impression is legitimate. The telegram may or may not be received by you, but having to do with family, yours or Ruburt’s, I am not sure. Or it will be received by one of your family or Ruburt’s. (Pause.)