“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(To Sue:) Now you have been projecting your fears about yourself outward, so that all of your husband’s remarks were interpreted in that light. This aggravated some of his own original conceptions. Some of your interpretations were legitimate, based upon his attitudes, but many more were the innermost doubts that you have not faced as to who you were, and deep questions involving the nature of your person as it is related to your particular sex in this life.

Intellectually you are certain enough of your worth as a person, but emotionally not nearly as certain as far as other abilities are concerned. You wanted support. You wanted confirmation of your hopes and of your faith in yourself, but because of your fears these clouded the reality that you perceived.

You felt hardly strong enough to handle your own fears, and could not bear the thought that she might need your help also. Now even in her position, she made efforts to get across to you, and bridges that could cross her own fear to you, but you were not able to meet her because you feared the chasm of despair within yourself.

(To Sue:) Now. You have felt for a long time that you were between the devil and the deep blue sea. That you had a mind and a womb, and that somehow the two did not go together. Regardless of past-life influences, which did exist, and granting some other interior reasons, you had a child to prove that you were a woman both to your mother and to yourself.

(To Sue:) Now these attitudes have a false premise, and knowing the premise is false will give you much more freedom. With what you know now you should realize that in each life you have different abilities. You may express yourself through a different sexual nature, and you should realize that both are necessary. The idea against which you rebel is a very temporary social premise that is already beginning to disappear. So you need not fight that battle all of your life.

(To Carl:) From your own parents you also have some false premises, having to do with sex. Now. You have been twice as upset over your own fears because you are a man, and think that a man should be free of them. You also find yourself in the position where you believe you should be the entire support of your family, and where you know you have both been taking the easy way out, and you hate yourself for it.

You have not felt that you succeeded at anything. You have not felt that you manipulated well in physical reality, in the world as it is, and to some extent you hated both the world and yourself for this. So you think that the world does not want you to succeed, and that the world, or the establishment, is out to get you. Instead you are afraid that regardless of their opinion, you cannot (underlined) succeed at all in the world as it is.

Your father cut out his own world, you felt, in his house and in the wilderness, comparatively speaking, but at the same time because you feared him so you did not really feel he wanted you to do the same no matter what he said—because to prove yourself a better man would automatically destroy him.

You have kept yourself from achieving for this reason, and some others.

You project your feelings upon the world and take it for granted that the world is what your feelings say it is. You accept your own attitudes toward yourself at their face value. They are attitudes of long standing. They were formed before you had any ability to reflect upon them, and now you have your relative dislike of reading, distrust of verbal expression, for example. You think of yourself as someone who tries to deal directly with the world through experience.

You think that reading is secondhand experience. You think you think that. Now many of these ideas come to you because of your attitude toward your father. You have not examined for 5 years, personally, your attitude toward yourself. You have simply accepted it as truth.

In your inner journeys you have traveled as far away from yourself as you could get, not as far inward as you could go. To some extent because of this you distrust your wife when she analyzes emotion or when she says to you why do you feel thus and thus a way. You do not want to know a good deal of the time.

Now I bid you both a fond good evening. (To Carl:) Open your eyes. Within yourself you will find more than despair, Carl. Let yourself be flooded with inner realizations that are within you. They are your bridge, not only to yourself but to your wife. Hopelessness will not repair the situation.