“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

There was a certain quality in him that held a hidden cruelty, of which you were frightened. Emotionally you also went out to your mother, but you felt that she was dependent upon him, and weaker, and so to some extent you were afraid of your own feelings toward her.

You project your feelings upon the world and take it for granted that the world is what your feelings say it is. You accept your own attitudes toward yourself at their face value. They are attitudes of long standing. They were formed before you had any ability to reflect upon them, and now you have your relative dislike of reading, distrust of verbal expression, for example. You think of yourself as someone who tries to deal directly with the world through experience.

You think that reading is secondhand experience. You think you think that. Now many of these ideas come to you because of your attitude toward your father. You have not examined for 5 years, personally, your attitude toward yourself. You have simply accepted it as truth.