“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Intellectually you are certain enough of your worth as a person, but emotionally not nearly as certain as far as other abilities are concerned. You wanted support. You wanted confirmation of your hopes and of your faith in yourself, but because of your fears these clouded the reality that you perceived.

(To Carl:) From your own parents you also have some false premises, having to do with sex. Now. You have been twice as upset over your own fears because you are a man, and think that a man should be free of them. You also find yourself in the position where you believe you should be the entire support of your family, and where you know you have both been taking the easy way out, and you hate yourself for it.

You were afraid that you could not make it alone, or support your family if it really came down to it. Part of this is because you think that she will demand the sort of environment from which she came—which, quite secretly, appeals to you immensely, and yet for which on the other hand you have nothing but scorn.