“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(To Sue:) Now you have been projecting your fears about yourself outward, so that all of your husband’s remarks were interpreted in that light. This aggravated some of his own original conceptions. Some of your interpretations were legitimate, based upon his attitudes, but many more were the innermost doubts that you have not faced as to who you were, and deep questions involving the nature of your person as it is related to your particular sex in this life.

You were aggressively aware of the difference between your own attitude and some of society’s in that regard, but for the first time in your life you were closely involved with another person, day by day—who to some extent (underlined) then served as a moving picture onto which you projected these fears as to your own worth.

Intellectually you are certain enough of your worth as a person, but emotionally not nearly as certain as far as other abilities are concerned. You wanted support. You wanted confirmation of your hopes and of your faith in yourself, but because of your fears these clouded the reality that you perceived.

I am saying then that some of your interpretations of the relationship were based on what you would call factual reality, but part was also based on your own insecurity.

(Humorously:) I am not done with you yet, but I do not want him (Carl) to feel left out over here, and while you are recovering I will speak to him: for you were also in your own isolated universe, and if hers had fears in it, then yours was a valley of desolation in which your emotions were like unruly animals galloping around in there; and you were so frightened and worried about your own worth that you could not consider hers, and you were so insecure that her sensing insecurity, when you were aware of it, drove you to anger.

You felt hardly strong enough to handle your own fears, and could not bear the thought that she might need your help also. Now even in her position, she made efforts to get across to you, and bridges that could cross her own fear to you, but you were not able to meet her because you feared the chasm of despair within yourself.

You did not see yourselves as people of integrity coming together in love, but as insecure individuals hoping that love could find the answer to fears that you were not willing to face otherwise.

(To Carl:) Now this was a poor-enough bargain for her to make, but for you to add to it in her mind, to demand that she prove this womanhood daily with the dishes or the housework or whatever, was too much for her to bear, and she felt doubly betrayed by you and by herself.

You were afraid that you could not make it alone, or support your family if it really came down to it. Part of this is because you think that she will demand the sort of environment from which she came—which, quite secretly, appeals to you immensely, and yet for which on the other hand you have nothing but scorn.

There was a certain quality in him that held a hidden cruelty, of which you were frightened. Emotionally you also went out to your mother, but you felt that she was dependent upon him, and weaker, and so to some extent you were afraid of your own feelings toward her.

Your father cut out his own world, you felt, in his house and in the wilderness, comparatively speaking, but at the same time because you feared him so you did not really feel he wanted you to do the same no matter what he said—because to prove yourself a better man would automatically destroy him.

The affair with the women represented a deeper betrayal to your wife, since it meant that of all things you not only did not accept her brain, but now her body also. Now you have not come to grips with this deep despondency of your own, and you can do so. It is not nearly as deep or secret as you suppose, and there are some practical methods you can use to minimize its effects while you learn.

Now a session for you earlier would not have had the impact of this one, or I would have given you such a session. (To both.) Now you know I will not say you should do thus and so, but the inner information I am giving you should be added to your knowledge as you assess the situation.

Now. You have had quite a bit for one night, but each of you can creatively use these problems, and turn them to your advantage, and this is a learning process in which you are both involved. It is not always an easy matter of saying no, and I do see both of you handling your situations well. Do not feel hopeless, and do not feel that you are failures. This is a point of time for you that in other ways has already passed, that you will look back upon. You are not caught in the moment. Request information therefore from your inner selves, and release your perceptions so that you clearly perceive the answers that you receive. You do have the abilities to solve these issues. Remind yourselves therefore of that fact, and do not tell yourselves that your situation in any case is a hopeless one.

Then use it. Use it alone or together, but in any case you must use it. You will use it, for you have far more strength than you realize that you have. You have only to draw upon it. I know that you have it, and I know also that you will use it.

Now I bid you both a fond good evening. (To Carl:) Open your eyes. Within yourself you will find more than despair, Carl. Let yourself be flooded with inner realizations that are within you. They are your bridge, not only to yourself but to your wife. Hopelessness will not repair the situation.