“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

You were afraid that you could not make it alone, or support your family if it really came down to it. Part of this is because you think that she will demand the sort of environment from which she came—which, quite secretly, appeals to you immensely, and yet for which on the other hand you have nothing but scorn.

You have not felt that you succeeded at anything. You have not felt that you manipulated well in physical reality, in the world as it is, and to some extent you hated both the world and yourself for this. So you think that the world does not want you to succeed, and that the world, or the establishment, is out to get you. Instead you are afraid that regardless of their opinion, you cannot (underlined) succeed at all in the world as it is.

There was a certain quality in him that held a hidden cruelty, of which you were frightened. Emotionally you also went out to your mother, but you felt that she was dependent upon him, and weaker, and so to some extent you were afraid of your own feelings toward her.