“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He had not found a strongly centralized inner self as yet, that could take over the organization of the entire psychological structure. He toppled his monarch, had no replacement, and opened his kingdom to ruin.

He intended a strong inner self to take over control of the entire personality. The ego however was terrified at the thought. Long after he wished the ego to return, the ego hid. He battered down his own doors. He is seeking enlightenment, but he was not strong enough to contain it.

He will emerge. The drugs allowed him to permit himself a luxury that he could ill afford. There are those who are so tightly meshed within physical reality that the soul is squeezed dry. They are tight, sore, and chafing beneath too-severe habits and ideas. For them momentary release, such as the drugs can give, is highly beneficial. For our friend however the inner self has been overly involved with wandering, and but lightly held within the limits of the intense focus demanded by physical reality. This freedom catered to his weakness, you see. Had he more discipline it could also have released his strength.

A relationship with one woman beside the mother here connected. An incident with candy bars as a child, of approximately 6, or in grade six. An inner formlessness. It was easy for him, deceptively easy, to overlook physical reality, to say that it was a mirage, simply because he had never completely enmeshed himself within it. He never met it squarely.

He has been plunged back into a physical universe that he would not accept even as a valid mirage. This time he will be able to find himself within it. (Long pause.) In his case he must accept himself as a human being before he can hope to discover the inner self. The ego got no help from him, and it could not carry on alone. There was a definite splitting of personality elements, and a complete abandonment by the inner self of the ego.

The ego takes care of physical matters so that the inner self can go about its other concerns. To shunt it aside is highly dangerous. The inner self is then in a precarious position, for it must also attempt to deal with physical reality.