“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Your combined emotional state amounts to an atmosphere, highly charged, through which I must penetrate. I have done my best, and yet I highly regret I could do so little. The blockage was not only Ruburt’s, but your own. It was an emotional shield, and I gave you all the hints I could.

Now, my dear Joseph… You have also been jealous of Ruburt’s part in our sessions, and at times highly resentful, particularly of the attention he received when others were present. In the overall however while you were delighted on the one hand to have the sessions, you were jealous of the part Ruburt played.

Ruburt therefore, sensing this, and abnormally sensitive to your wishes at this time, would not let the sessions be used to wound you, and bent his efforts to block such material. You also put up resistance because of your jealousy. The combined efforts held any help I could give to a minimum.

This contest between you had much to do with Ruburt’s fear in obtaining reincarnational material that could perhaps be checked. He felt you did not want him to succeed here, and that despite what you said, for you always verbally encouraged him, you did not want him to receive clairvoyant checkable material. You were jealous of his rather limited projection attempts, and he stopped them for this reason.

As far as the sessions were concerned, he felt for some time that you demanded them, and on the other hand resented his part in them. You were also pleased with the sessions on quite another level, and on this level honestly accepted Ruburt’s part in them, although you still wished this part were played by yourself.

You knew that the sessions were highly beneficial, and you were convinced of my own legitimacy. It was indeed because you were so convinced that you envied Ruburt’s part. While you asked Ruburt to let me give you help for Ruburt’s condition, for some time the symptoms’ continuation was important to you for the reasons you now understand.

The climate has cleared enough so that I can give you this material now. Consciously Ruburt did not even suspect it. There are many matters to discuss here, you see, and reasons for your own behavior, which should be understood.

Now Ruburt has said, and I have said, do not blame yourself, and this is valid in those terms. It is much more important that you understand the meshworks that exist, and the importance of integrity in dealings with the self.

Your friend’s invitation was a direct answer to your need, which was telepathically received. The way, in other words, was provided. Such a change, drastic and complete, would have resulted in a shock to your own psychic system as well as Ruburt’s.

Ruburt indeed felt attacked, but he would not fight against you, you see. He fought, but without ever daring face what it was he was fighting. Conditions in his own past prepared him for this docility, for which indeed his mother ridiculed him frequently; and yet the symptoms themselves, you see, were a way to fight you. For if he suffered because of them, he knew that you would also suffer, until finally you would have to admit the truths that could set you both free.

This would have operated as a self-punishment for the symptoms inflicted upon Ruburt, had they continued throughout any period of years. Such duality cannot exist for long without destroying creative aspects of the personality.

Ruburt would have continued to work, though physically quite incapacitated. These conditions however would not likely have resulted. You both had something very strong working for you, still strong enough to help, and that was the creative intuitive nature, which would have in one way or another made the facts plain.

The time element however could have been lengthened. Both of you actually decided that the situation had gone too far, and had telepathically communicated. The strength of Ruburt’s telepathic communication terrified you because you then felt the terrific burden that had been upon you, and this set you to work with the pendulum.

You had made your peace, both of you, at another level, but the two personalities as you know them still had to come to terms in your normal reality. Ruburt has an unfortunate sense of unworthiness, without which the situation could not have developed.

There will be much to say concerning Ruburt’s part in the whole situation, and we will try to lead the way so that your characteristics and needs help each other. What has happened here happens frequently, as you have guessed.

The painting of the apartment is beneficial, in its symbolic representation, and for what it means to you both on other levels. Now give us a moment. (Long pause.) Incidentally, you also wanted Ruburt thin, you see. You did not want to nourish his success.

Ruburt’s morning symptoms were also connected with you. You did not like to face morning at the Artistic Card Company, but Ruburt had the symptoms, you see. Other reasons also operated here, from his own background.

Dating back, Ruburt’s barriers about the work area were also barriers against you. At times before he buried the feeling, he resented it when you sat at his (underlined) table. Do you recall?

Now, one brief explanation here, for this sort of thing operates in good as well as poor circumstances. Ruburt’s morning symptoms, for example. I told you why he had them this evening, but then they become associated with certain objects and surroundings, which serve as an automatic perpetuation, you see, in varying degrees.

These are important details however. The chests in the bathroom should be painted. The bookcase there (just moved in) breaks up old conditions, and is good. The chests should be covered as soon as possible to break up associations. Ruburt should change the arrangement of his clothes in those chests. The shoes should be kept in another place than the accustomed one.

The associative conditions are not Ruburt’s alone. Once projected upon the objects, they become part of the objects until some alteration is made. The alteration actually changes atomic alignments, and shakes off such influences that have been soaked up.

Ruburt’s arms, now—he wanted to rock himself in comfort. (Jane cradled her arms in this characteristic gesture.) The elbows then bent, straining toward this position, representing a need for comfort, and the attempt to comfort himself. The fingers, connected with his work… Here he refused to budge. They could have been so bad he could not type, and this he did not allow. They still represented his feeling that his writing was a threat to you, and were a reminder of the whole situation. They were also fat however, for he still considered them powerful in regards to his work.

One note: Ruburt felt guilty over your second cat (Catherine) initially, feeling you did not want him. As you grew affectionate to the cat, Ruburt’s feeling vanished.