“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Now, good evening.

Now, my dear Joseph… You have also been jealous of Ruburt’s part in our sessions, and at times highly resentful, particularly of the attention he received when others were present. In the overall however while you were delighted on the one hand to have the sessions, you were jealous of the part Ruburt played.

You knew that the sessions were highly beneficial, and you were convinced of my own legitimacy. It was indeed because you were so convinced that you envied Ruburt’s part. While you asked Ruburt to let me give you help for Ruburt’s condition, for some time the symptoms’ continuation was important to you for the reasons you now understand.

The climate has cleared enough so that I can give you this material now. Consciously Ruburt did not even suspect it. There are many matters to discuss here, you see, and reasons for your own behavior, which should be understood.

Now Ruburt has said, and I have said, do not blame yourself, and this is valid in those terms. It is much more important that you understand the meshworks that exist, and the importance of integrity in dealings with the self.

Now. The duality in your own psychic condition, Joseph, would have eventually destroyed your capacity to work.

The painting of the apartment is beneficial, in its symbolic representation, and for what it means to you both on other levels. Now give us a moment. (Long pause.) Incidentally, you also wanted Ruburt thin, you see. You did not want to nourish his success.

He felt that you begrudged him the food he ate, hence the shopping symptoms. As your attitude changed these symptoms began to vanish. And as your attitude has further changed he has begun to eat more. Now his own background, with its self-denial and early religious esthetic training, also played its part, you see.

Now, one brief explanation here, for this sort of thing operates in good as well as poor circumstances. Ruburt’s morning symptoms, for example. I told you why he had them this evening, but then they become associated with certain objects and surroundings, which serve as an automatic perpetuation, you see, in varying degrees.

Ruburt’s arms, now—he wanted to rock himself in comfort. (Jane cradled her arms in this characteristic gesture.) The elbows then bent, straining toward this position, representing a need for comfort, and the attempt to comfort himself. The fingers, connected with his work… Here he refused to budge. They could have been so bad he could not type, and this he did not allow. They still represented his feeling that his writing was a threat to you, and were a reminder of the whole situation. They were also fat however, for he still considered them powerful in regards to his work.

Symbolically now, you transformed the subconscious feelings into the sparkling temperas. Working with the meticulous temperas, you actually worked out inner problems in a way that was not frightening, and gave you a sense of challenge and accomplishment.