“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

This contest between you had much to do with Ruburt’s fear in obtaining reincarnational material that could perhaps be checked. He felt you did not want him to succeed here, and that despite what you said, for you always verbally encouraged him, you did not want him to receive clairvoyant checkable material. You were jealous of his rather limited projection attempts, and he stopped them for this reason.

As far as the sessions were concerned, he felt for some time that you demanded them, and on the other hand resented his part in them. You were also pleased with the sessions on quite another level, and on this level honestly accepted Ruburt’s part in them, although you still wished this part were played by yourself.

Ruburt indeed felt attacked, but he would not fight against you, you see. He fought, but without ever daring face what it was he was fighting. Conditions in his own past prepared him for this docility, for which indeed his mother ridiculed him frequently; and yet the symptoms themselves, you see, were a way to fight you. For if he suffered because of them, he knew that you would also suffer, until finally you would have to admit the truths that could set you both free.

The time element however could have been lengthened. Both of you actually decided that the situation had gone too far, and had telepathically communicated. The strength of Ruburt’s telepathic communication terrified you because you then felt the terrific burden that had been upon you, and this set you to work with the pendulum.

He did not work on his book, incidentally, because he felt you did not want him to. (Long pause.) You resented it when he began typing some of the sessions. (I thought this was my idea: RFB.) You felt he was trying to deprive you further of your part. He felt particularly poor at your parents because there he felt under combined attack. He does have a natural aggressiveness also however, and a rebellious nature.

He has been afraid of directing either outward for fear of hurting others. (Long pause.) He must learn to handle normal aggressions, and yet when he is operating spontaneously his natural exuberance is a mechanism for such release. (Long pause.) He was aware of your feelings. He felt that any success of his was a threat to you. (Long pause.)

He felt that you begrudged him the food he ate, hence the shopping symptoms. As your attitude changed these symptoms began to vanish. And as your attitude has further changed he has begun to eat more. Now his own background, with its self-denial and early religious esthetic training, also played its part, you see.

You felt oils murky, representing the subconscious hidden fears and desires of which you were frightened. You considered them threatening, too easy, oils. Explosive, you see. (Pause.) The temperas meant discipline, but every tempera you did contained an oil within it.

(Excellent data from Seth; this is exactly how I felt about the problem and I had never mentioned this to Jane.)

One note: Ruburt felt guilty over your second cat (Catherine) initially, feeling you did not want him. As you grew affectionate to the cat, Ruburt’s feeling vanished.