“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(On July 3 and July 5th, I held long pendulum sessions, trying to learn what subconscious role I have been playing in Jane’s symptoms. I obtained much valid information. Jane at first did not agree with my findings, but her own pendulum verified my results.

I knew it was approaching, and I gave you all the hints that I could in the past. I was not allowed to speak but in the most opaque of terms.

Your combined emotional state amounts to an atmosphere, highly charged, through which I must penetrate. I have done my best, and yet I highly regret I could do so little. The blockage was not only Ruburt’s, but your own. It was an emotional shield, and I gave you all the hints I could.

Objects and conditions within the habitual environment become changed with various emotions, to which you can then rather automatically react, without questioning their validity. Free from these charged objects and conditions, the same response you see may suddenly strike you with surprise, and you will question it. This is highly simplified, but very valid indeed.

Ruburt indeed felt attacked, but he would not fight against you, you see. He fought, but without ever daring face what it was he was fighting. Conditions in his own past prepared him for this docility, for which indeed his mother ridiculed him frequently; and yet the symptoms themselves, you see, were a way to fight you. For if he suffered because of them, he knew that you would also suffer, until finally you would have to admit the truths that could set you both free.

This is the result of his intimate knowledge of what it is to be so hurt, connected with the mother experience. Therefore in this situation he would fight back but he could not hurt you. This did not leave him with much room. You did leave him with some however, for the symptoms themselves were the means that would bring you to these realizations. And he knew underneath that it would only go so far before you would realize what was happening. He did not know where the point was however.

You had made your peace, both of you, at another level, but the two personalities as you know them still had to come to terms in your normal reality. Ruburt has an unfortunate sense of unworthiness, without which the situation could not have developed.

Ruburt’s morning symptoms were also connected with you. You did not like to face morning at the Artistic Card Company, but Ruburt had the symptoms, you see. Other reasons also operated here, from his own background.

Now, one brief explanation here, for this sort of thing operates in good as well as poor circumstances. Ruburt’s morning symptoms, for example. I told you why he had them this evening, but then they become associated with certain objects and surroundings, which serve as an automatic perpetuation, you see, in varying degrees.

You felt oils murky, representing the subconscious hidden fears and desires of which you were frightened. You considered them threatening, too easy, oils. Explosive, you see. (Pause.) The temperas meant discipline, but every tempera you did contained an oil within it.