“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

It seeks outlet and must find it, and must find it a manner that satisfies the creative abilities. The excitement need not be physical, though it will find some reflection in physical terms. He has enormous energy at his disposal, a large portion of which has been misdirected in the form of symptoms, and partially out of resentment.

The resentment was basic. The ESP book brought this out; that is, did not cause the resentment—the resentment was there—but allowed the resentment release. He did not feel that the publisher shared any enthusiasm from the beginning. He did feel that Wollheim did, and had no resentment toward Wollheim, though he did not publish the book. He felt Wollheim’s enthusiasm.

The power of his energies, unfortunately, can be seen quite clearly in the severity of the symptoms that the energy formed when it was so misdirected. The personal material on his background that I gave you is all part of this, of course. He felt extreme resentment at Fell generally. Since he did not want to hurt anyone, this ricocheted, affecting him. (F. Fell published the ESP book.)

When he attempts to restrain himself too vigorously, he automatically upsets the apple cart, so to speak, and it is on his head that the apples and cart fall.

He is learning to handle, direct, manipulate and use his energy. Any serious difficulty here can automatically set forth old time bombs, that have, in the past, been denied energy, you see. When he is enthusiastically and exuberantly working, the past becomes comparatively insignificant for him as far as harmful elements are concerned.

If fear or resentment stops up the flow, then their origin, untranslated, unredeemed and unsublimated, causes physical symptoms and disorders. The system will right itself if given any chance. The poetry is his best touchstone here. He was angry at Fell for rather obvious reasons, but the reasons involved his work, which touched upon his energy, and this caused then the unfortunate comparison between Fell and Ruburt’s father. He reacted then as Ruburt’s mother reacted when deserted by the father. He adopted the same symptoms if not the disease itself.

He did not adopt the disease itself.

He projected his resentment into the future, and against all other publishers for awhile, anticipating the same sort of response as he felt the ESP book had received. He stopped sending out any material at all, for this reason. It is a healthy sign that he has changed his stand here.

Ruburt was furious. (Friday morning, March 3,1967.) He thought he was being put off with the phone call. He did not admit his anger, and attempted to soothe himself with other suggestions.

He had, in fact, given some excellent suggestions earlier, which still served to protect him during the afternoon. These wore off and were not renewed, and the intense resentment then emerged in the symptoms.

He was also angry that friends arrived near midnight, since already he felt poorly. Again he said nothing and the symptoms grew all the stronger as his desire grew to tell them to leave. The night symptoms should vanish. Without intensive constructive suggestions before sleep the personality shows the status quo relationship of its condition, whatever it is. If it is poor, the sleep is poor, and the inner intuitions denied their therapeutic functions.

Even in sleep then, energy is used constructively. The mailing out of manuscripts with which he is pleased is automatically beneficial, in that energy is being directed outward. At his best he does lose himself in work, and finds himself; but the work must be to him exciting, highly creative and challenging. Work for work’s sake will not do for him.

He must be in throes of creativity. This can apply to actual work on a manuscript, intellectual excitement, or intuitional discovery, but a humdrum creative ritual is defeating for him. His energy will then attempt to explode in other fashions, and denied this will feed on its origins and result in physical symptoms.