“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The clothing sent by his mother has been somewhat dangerous to him because his feelings, given above, automatically extracted from them the negative feelings of his mother toward him, while blocking out the constructive and loving ones.

Now. The sore hip episodes represented the peak of inner panic, and the crises point of the whole affair. Ruburt recognized this as a particular danger point and managed to break away here. He began slowly to open up the channels he had closed and he took first steps toward regaining health. He could have become seriously ill several months ago, but he avoided this. He has been on a road to recovery since, though an uneven one. When he returns to work, this is the first sign.

Your own attitude toward Frederick Fell, and your remarks to Ruburt, deeply frightened him, for they reinforced the nagging feeling that Fell would not do well by him as his father had not done well by his mother. This was the sore point always felt in those discussions. He felt cornered, you see, as if you were saying, “I told you so, your deepest fears will be realized.”

He only wrote to his father when he needed money as a child and adolescent, and he only called or contacted Fell, it seemed to him, when he wanted money. Fell was late on payments as his father had been late. He felt urgently dependent upon the checks as his mother had been toward welfare checks and the father’s payments.