“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I realized on this particular evening that although my eyes were closed, I was staring into another pair of eyes that seemed to be within inches of my own, and had been doing so for some seconds. Conscious realization seemed to be suspended. These eyes were I would say masculine, and very beautiful, and could be human. They were a deep luminous golden brown; I realized I was so close to them that I could see their minutest details in vivid color, even upper lids that fell over the upper portion of the eyeball. At this stage of the phenomenon I encouraged this minute inspection, for I lay suspended below alarm.

(Strange to say, I did not come fully awake as one does when arising in the morning for example. I achieved a state close to waking only, in spite of my momentary panic. Jane began to question me; she told me the next morning that I described the vision to her while speaking in a sleepy monotone. I was conscious of doing this, and that it took some little time, yet felt no urge to prod myself wide awake. I recall that I felt it urgent that I tell her what had taken place as soon as possible. I thought of getting up to make a drawing of what I had seen, but decided I would not forget. This is certainly true; this vision is as vivid and clear in memory today as it was a second after it ended. I do intend making a drawing, in color, for those who may be interested.

(The session tonight was held in our large front room. Jane likes to use this room since it is larger than the back room we have used for the past few months, out of a fear of interruptions. She began speaking while sitting down and with her eyes closed. Her pace was good, her voice average.)

(Break at 9:25. Jane reported that she had been quite well dissociated for a first delivery—far-out, as she puts it. Her eyes had been open more than closed, very dark as she stared at me. Her pace had been rather good, her voice average and quite amused at times, perhaps chiding in a gentle way.

(I was of course much interested, and knew that Jane was too. Jane now closed her eyes and sat quietly for a moment.)

(It was now time for the 28th Dr.Instream test. As usual Jane’s pace slowed considerably. She spoke with many pauses, sitting with her eyes closed, her head down, her left hand raised to her brow. Resume at 10:10.)

(Jane, her eyes still closed, gestured here as though to make this point clear.)

(Break at 10:30. Jane was dissociated as usual. Her eyes had remained closed and her pace had been slow.

(“A dark or darkish brown coat, the color of some uniforms,” is a reference to a sports coat of corduroy that Jane bought me for Christmas; this is indicated by the Penny’s sales slip for December 18. The coat is a close approximation of the color of the winter topcoat for the everyday U.S. Marine uniform. The Marine connection here will be apparent shortly.

What Ruburt sensed however was somewhat legitimate. When you allow disturbances to upset you, then you become concentrated so deeply within ego time that you close off those very abilities that you need to help you.