“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Ida’s brother, Louie, had also been following the material somewhat more thoroughly, and he visited the four of us at Bill’s home Saturday night. Louie has had more experience than Jane or I with ESP activities; and when in the course of conversation the question of Jane giving a session arose, Jane and I were somewhat surprised, not anticipating this, and did nothing to push agreement to such an idea. However, when we finally became convinced that a session was quite welcome to Ida, Bill and Louie, if only out of curiosity, Jane and I agreed to try to hold one.

(We sat in the fully lighted living room. I held on my lap a sheaf of notepaper and had my pen handy. Jane sat quietly on the other side of the room while the rest of us exchanged ideas on the subject. It was getting late, we had already put in an active day traveling and visiting, and I for one was not sure of how effective such a session might be. Jane had remarked that she had no idea whether she could give one, and no inkling of any possible subject matter.

This can be remedied. A sense of guilt carried throughout one lifetime is somewhat understandable. A sense of guilt enduring psychologically since the 1500’s is indeed carrying conscience just a bit too far. He has more than made up for the original offense, which was indeed understandable under the circumstances.

He has paid time and time again for this. No one asked that you pay. He was then, even then, conscientious, and therefore fourfold bothered more than most by his own betrayal. In his immediately past life he plagued himself through a useless arm; right arm, you see, so he could not point out again. This time the self-adopted defect is less, a mere annoyance.

One, he attempts to convince himself of something that is indeed a fact. He has nothing else to do penance for. By enduring the literally endless small cruelties he does needless penance, but at the same time he strikes back by causing the father hours of remorse. In all relationships these intertwining effects exert, many times, most unpleasant effects.

Saturday afternoon he was five, not six, and for unforeseen reasons left alone for a mere ten minutes in a large house, circumstances being such that only for a brief time no one was present. He played with a large ball, and the actual incident was so simple and uncomplicated that under ordinary circumstances it would have resulted in no such results.

I will now end the session, in no way desiring to intrude myself any longer in your social gathering. I consider the session to have been a good one, and I wish each and all a fond and hearty good evening.

I will add here one note.

His actual predicament is one where what he wishes, he feels will hurt others. And yet through living at home while helping the father, on the one hand, in the establishment, at the same time on unconscious levels by his very presence he says “I am not doing what I want to do, and you are to blame.”