“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The other man was not involved with any of you in past lives, nor do I see him indeed at all in England in any era. Instead the Mediterranean area in the 1500’s, and it is from this period that his present speech impediment indeed originated.

This can be remedied. A sense of guilt carried throughout one lifetime is somewhat understandable. A sense of guilt enduring psychologically since the 1500’s is indeed carrying conscience just a bit too far. He has more than made up for the original offense, which was indeed understandable under the circumstances.

But such a mere annoyance becomes indeed a form of torture. There is no longer any need for this. In other ways, through constructive action, he has more than made his way.

It is indeed a basic anxiety and fear. The personality can express himself very well. In the 1500’s he was eloquent, and it is precisely because this eloquence, so persuasive, so smooth-tongued, caused his superiors at that time to believe the accusations against the innocent man, that he now fears to use an eloquence, because he once let it run away with him.

His present desire for expression will certainly not change. It is therefore the fear of expression that must be erased. Nor can this erasure occur without the realization by this personality that he can indeed trust himself. For both the fear and the anxiety is based simply upon a resulting distrust of his ability to handle eloquence or verbal expression.

Since I will not give a session simply to give a session, and because I will not let Ruburt parade me as part of his precious subconscious, I will indeed here speak for myself, but in terms that will help another and for the benefit of that other. And despite our anxious Ruburt’s furious attempts to block me, I will indeed say that the person who was once betrayed by the personality involved was the present father of the personality, and he knows it—

He has taken at least as much as he gave, and there were sly and secret ways in which the father repaid him. Yet here we have further conflict, because indeed the present father loves the present son. It is not the son that he would wound. It is the man that son once was.

For an offense that has been paid for in full. And each cruelty committed by the father hurts the father more, for he is bewildered by the unkindness of his own actions toward the son, toward whom his conscious feelings are indeed fraternal. And again—

One, he attempts to convince himself of something that is indeed a fact. He has nothing else to do penance for. By enduring the literally endless small cruelties he does needless penance, but at the same time he strikes back by causing the father hours of remorse. In all relationships these intertwining effects exert, many times, most unpleasant effects.

The personality left, to return. He returned to reassure himself that he had indeed paid this subconscious debt, as indeed he had. But here again conditioning took over, and the old ways and the old responses.

Everything becomes plain. Such and such happened to me at the age of five or six, and ever after have I acted thus and so. So it is with Ruburt’s eyes. The panic reaction, which is true, the fear of seeing reality as it was when he was a child; but this indeed is only a symptom of a symptom, and not an origin.

It was indeed the sight of that portion of the stove glowing, however, that made him try to call out. There is somewhat more here, but our illustrious and pigheaded Ruburt has indeed implied that I should somewhat maintain silence.

He stuttered because the pain from the small burn through subconscious association became, for the first time in this existence, penance for the barely remembered past offense. Now. The stuttering did not, as is believed, begin continuously to show itself, but from then on it began to show itself more and more as the child experienced those necessary and trivial wounds that every child must indeed endure.

Indeed, it seems to me that I have given someone else, and a friend of yours, this same advice, quote: “Live alone.” The personality, if he stays in this location, should find a dwelling place where he will be unsmothered.

The son is even now coming to an inner understanding. Indeed much of this I gain for Ruburt through subconscious telepathy from the personality involved. Were this not so it would be more difficult, but possible, for me to tell you what I do. And if I sound dour and heavy-handed it is only because I must sometimes deal with Ruburt with a heavy hand.

He does not believe that a houseguest should behave in any such manner, but then I am not a houseguest. And I will indeed close the session, with no more p.s.’s, and with my most sincere wishes for you all. I will not however give you a shorter session Monday, since I consider that I have done a favor, and I do not owe you another.

I may sound irascible, and if I do then indeed certainly I shall try to blame it on Ruburt, and say it is a distortion, though it is no distortion. I find it, however, a rather painful duty, self imposed, to delve into personal backgrounds, and consider myself rather dignified to adopt the pose of a Peeping Tom. But there are too few who can, either, look within themselves with candor, and if this material does anything, it must be oriented toward knowledge; and knowledge must be applied in your case in human terms.