“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

—was thought to be the disloyal member. He denied it; but when they decided that another innocent man was the culprit, a man whom he knew to be innocent, then to save his own life he let them think the innocent man was the betrayer.

He has paid time and time again for this. No one asked that you pay. He was then, even then, conscientious, and therefore fourfold bothered more than most by his own betrayal. In his immediately past life he plagued himself through a useless arm; right arm, you see, so he could not point out again. This time the self-adopted defect is less, a mere annoyance.

The realization that he has more than made up for the initial betrayal should result, if he takes the information to heart, in a lessening of symptoms that should result, again, in their disappearance.

And, he knows the man whom he once so betrayed. In this life he knows him, and he—

—he has been kind to him, and he has given up much for this man whom he once, out of fear, betrayed.

Since I will not give a session simply to give a session, and because I will not let Ruburt parade me as part of his precious subconscious, I will indeed here speak for myself, but in terms that will help another and for the benefit of that other. And despite our anxious Ruburt’s furious attempts to block me, I will indeed say that the person who was once betrayed by the personality involved was the present father of the personality, and he knows it—

—subconsciously, and subconsciously the father knows. And why else would he demand from a son that which no father has a right to demand? He, the father, subconsciously knew and remembered this betrayal, and he would see to it that the present personality paid, and paid in full.

So, as the father pays back his old betrayer, he hurts the son without knowing why. He cannot understand his own cruelty toward him, or the acts which he is impelled to perform. Nor can the son, loving the father, understand either the father’s cruelty or his own sense of gratification received from the cruelties. He, with his remorseless conscience, welcomes the cruelties, for they make him feel as if he is doing penance, and for what?

If this is realized then the personality will not feel smothered. As it is, how can he dare express himself in the presence particularly of a man whom he feels he once betrayed? And when he speaks to him in syllables, he does not speak clearly. He does not owe the father any more than a normal filial devotion. He does not owe the father any more than that, and to seek the father’s pleasure superficially, or to try to please the father in fields where he has no interest, will not lead either to personal development or success, and will not help the father in any way.