“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Saturday and Sunday, September 19 and 20, Jane and I spent visiting my brother William Richard and his wife Ida, in Rochester, NY. Bill has been acting as custodian of the second carbon of the Seth material. Jane and I have always made it a policy to have a carbon of any written material—prose, poetry, etc., in separate hands outside of our house, as a protection against loss by accident, fire, etc.

So, as the father pays back his old betrayer, he hurts the son without knowing why. He cannot understand his own cruelty toward him, or the acts which he is impelled to perform. Nor can the son, loving the father, understand either the father’s cruelty or his own sense of gratification received from the cruelties. He, with his remorseless conscience, welcomes the cruelties, for they make him feel as if he is doing penance, and for what?

—he knows this, and he knows that by enduring the small acts of cruelty he gains two ends.

Everything becomes plain. Such and such happened to me at the age of five or six, and ever after have I acted thus and so. So it is with Ruburt’s eyes. The panic reaction, which is true, the fear of seeing reality as it was when he was a child; but this indeed is only a symptom of a symptom, and not an origin.