“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

The experience did involve several experiments that he was making without, of course, conscious knowledge. Several lessons may also be learned from this. The inner self is well aware of its innate capabilities in certain directions, and directs its efforts along these lines.

Ruburt’s strategy was brilliant from one standpoint. The rushing-out feeling through the head represented the initial flow of the inner self from the physical image.

It happened so quickly that Ruburt’s old dog of an ego was taken by surprise almost completely, and the whole affair might have been successful, as far as its purpose being achieved, had not a quick preliminary sensation caused the ego to rouse from its pleasant doze.

The sensation occurred mere seconds before the outward rush, but provided just enough of a dim warning to the ego. The ego could not prevent the outward rush. It did not react in time. The warning was not therefore sufficient from the ego’s standpoint. It yelped and pulled the escaping inner self back by its imaginary coattails.

Quietly but firmly, without antagonizing the ego further, Ruburt quieted it down by the suggestion of safety and slow motion; as you suspected the slow motion suggestion and/or coupled with the cautionary warning, was interpreted rather expertly, that is slyly, by the subconscious, which then waited a good interval of several hours before trying again.

(Break at 9:34. Jane was dissociated as usual. She was speaking somewhat faster by the end of her delivery. She said that the above material, dealing with the outward movement of the inner self through the head, reminded her that in her earlier psychological time experiments she had sometimes experienced a “bump on top of the head” sensation, momentarily, that had been rather unpleasant. This would be several months ago.

(When Jane began dictating again her voice had changed from a rather normal voice to one that was quite a bit more formal and harsh in tone, and somewhat louder. At times it had a hard-to-describe singsong quality, emphasizing certain syllables and elongating them. Her diction became very elaborate. She maintained this voice, moreover, until the end of the session. Resume at 9:39.)

We find here a difference between this experience and the one in which Ruburt journeyed psychically, but actually, through space and time to a Saratoga of quite some years ago. That journey was powered by emotional impetus, personal emotional impetus.

(Jane had this experience on April 30, 1964, at 11:30 AM. See Volume 2, page 65. This was a few days before the 50th session. Checking over my account of Jane’s experience on that date, I notice that I did state that this experience began with a feeling of “a blow on the head.” It is included in Jane’s dated version. On April 28, 1964, Jane also underwent this rather unpleasant sensation; perhaps in preparation for the Saratoga Springs journey two days later. And the sensation of rushing out through the head that she experienced this morning was, Jane said, very similar to those earlier “bumpings.”)

The personal emotions and memories loosened, freed him; but the journey was necessarily destined by the particular emotions that powered it, and the destination was one, incidentally, familiar to the ego, and to some extent at least one to which both ego and subconscious were nostalgically connected.

It was therefore along the lines of a preliminary test flight, and one to which the ego would not therefore object. This incident today was vastly more complicated, though it did not completely come off.

(I meant that I felt okay, although my hand was tired. But since it was 10:15, I thought the session would end soon.)

(End at 10:21. Jane was dissociated as usual. She had maintained her unusual sing-song voice until the end. It had been a strong voice also, and she now said that her voice had felt different to her; as though she was not using her own vocal chords, but served as a vehicle or channel through which this strange voice emerged. Jane did not particularly care for the idea of serving as a channel. To me there was no doubt that the voice was recognizably hers.

(End at 10:40. Jane was again dissociated. She ended upon this very quiet note, speaking quite slowly. As soon as she sat down, Jane told me several things. One was that as she spoke for Seth about the red leather chair, she had a mental image of this chair. It had short round wooden legs with a light brown finish, a cushioned seat and back [the back leaning back, of course] and was without arms. Jane could not describe the floor upon which it rested, or any other furnishings in the room, or a door, a window, etc.

(She did say that as she mentioned “stories high” she had a definite impression of looking out over many other lower buildings. While talking about the chair she also had an impression that “some source, something” was trying to tell her about a rug that either usually was on the floor, was sent out for cleaning, or else was never there. The only thing she is sure of in this instance is that she was trying to receive something about a rug. She had no vision of it.

(It might be noted here that Seth/Jane also gave a brief physical description of a person on page 84, in the 99th session. This was in connection with material on John Bradley’s superiors in, presumably, Chicago. We have no verification on this yet, not having seen John recently. Since John goes to Chicago rather infrequently we may have to wait a while for it.

(I was tempted to ask Seth whether he referred to distractions around Jane and me here in Elmira, or possible ones in say New York City. But it was obvious that Jane was tired and ready to end the session.)

(November 6, Friday, 11:30 AM: A very definite prolonged feeling of body dissolving below chest. First, feeling of imbalance, as if head was tilting to one side, the left, causing my eyes to feel as though they shifted to lower left. Then sense of whole body vibrating gently to and fro. Then both hands terribly cold. Then they moved of own accord sideways, followed by sensation that they rose, but do not think they actually did. Persistent feeling that they were going to, sort of gentle pressure beneath them. Feeling from feet up of body dissolved, but the coldness at the same time. It reached my upper left arm, which ached with cold. [I was actually partially dressed, and beneath spread which was doubled.] I had the feeling my body might rise without it, since it felt dissolved below the chest. The alarm rang. My limbs very cold to the touch. As I write this at once my hands and feet are still abnormally cold. Was shaking with cold when alarm rang.

(Now in the very beginning, I felt a sudden need for Rob. * Quite emotional, as if he was dead and I wanted him. Spoke his name in ejaculation in my mind. Quick intense sorrow. Had just thought consciously how much he meant to me. Feeling vanished. I forgot it until now. Rather unsettling. I asked mentally if Rob was in any trouble, got no answer. [As I wrote this down, in the second sentence with the * I found myself substituting Rob’s name, no, Walt’s name for Rob’s. Maybe something happened to Walt? Notice the correction in last sentence—there wasn’t any sense of danger; sorrow after an event? Nor did it seem particularly an immediate event, or even necessarily one in near future.]

(Also November 9, Monday, 7 PM: In doze, asked silently if I was being warned about a death. If so whose? If not, what was the message? Few seconds later I saw a brown hand mirror held out. I saw it edge on. I got scared, wouldn’t look, I guess afraid I’d see my own face. As it vanished it occurred to me that the face wouldn’t have to be mine. Upset. Checked with the pendulum. It said warning was of my mother’s death, in December. And that the psychological time experiences, today and Friday, were connected with the warning from Helen McIlwain. Linda was not involved. Don’t know how trustworthy the pendulum is.)

(A boy handed me a long, legal-sized black envelope. Helen McIlwain’s name was the return address, written in black ink on the envelope. [She was a friend of my mother’s, now dead.] I took the envelope to contain notification of my mother’s death. I guess I opened it and read inside, though now I don’t recall doing so. Then with relief saw that the death was not to be that close. Not my mother, but a young girl. Got the name Linda, and the last name, which I think I’ve forgotten—don’t think it was Butts. But there was a connection with Linda.

(I was relieved that it wasn’t my mother, but my reasoning was cold-blooded. First I thought: “Well, I’ve always feared my mother’s death,” and I was almost relieved that it was over. Then relief when it wasn’t her death, but someone else’s.

(If it is a death, and in Rob’s family, say of Linda, which I doubt, then why the return name of my mother’s friend? [With whom I was not close?] Maybe one of my nieces, instead of Rob’s? Joan? In dream I think the death must have already happened. My death? No feeling that it was, though I could have substituted names. But the person [to die?] was younger than I am, I think. And who was the boy? He waited while I read the message inside. But can’t remember reading it, just interpreting it. Somewhat unsettling dream.)