“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

If you recall, I told you that the psychological time experiments would prove more fruitful now, but Ruburt really came up with a peach.

(While delivering the above sentence, Jane took several long pauses as she paced about. She had not been speaking very rapidly, but her rate of delivery now slowed somewhat, broken by frequent pauses.)

The ego is now somewhat in the confidence of the whole self, therefore we have more to contend with. We are no longer tricking the ego, which it would ultimately and sometimes almost disastrously resent, but taking it into the confidence of the whole self, so that it will allow departure from the physical image, as a mother can finally be convinced that it is safe for a son or daughter to go out alone.

(End at 10:21. Jane was dissociated as usual. She had maintained her unusual sing-song voice until the end. It had been a strong voice also, and she now said that her voice had felt different to her; as though she was not using her own vocal chords, but served as a vehicle or channel through which this strange voice emerged. Jane did not particularly care for the idea of serving as a channel. To me there was no doubt that the voice was recognizably hers.

(Seth’s statements about my receiving telepathic images interested me greatly, since I have been aware for some years now that I would much rather do a portrait without a model. That is, I greatly enjoy setting to work to “make up” a character, then paint it. I have found that for me working from a model is rather boring and somehow limiting. My best drawings, particularly in ink and oil, have been produced in this fashion, and I used to think it rather strange that I liked to work this way. In fact, Jane has often mentioned the fact that I have seldom used even her as a model. I have done so a few times. The situation is about to be remedied however, since as my work continues to expand I now discover that I want to use models also, and have several paintings planned in which she will appear.

(Concerning Jane making sale of her writing soon, the last statement of the session above now makes four times that this bit of information has come to us, either through sessions or Jane’s psychological time. See pages 102, 107, 114, and 125. In writing out the last line of the session from Jane’s dictation, I took it for granted the information referred to one sale. Jane then told me, as soon as the session ended, that it referred to two sales; one now accomplished, and other future sales. While we were discussing this point, Jane suddenly resumed her feet and began dictating again. Her manner and voice were more subdued now, and grew progressively quieter and slower as she talked. I will indicate pauses where they took place. Resume at 10:26.)

(Jane’s voice now became even quieter as she paced about.)

A manuscript now from Ruburt lays on a desk. Some excitement over it. Ten o’clock, PM. New York City. (Pause) One man, enveloped in a large overcoat, enters. He has three children. I cannot get more through. Pushing Ruburt will cause distortions, this time, that would result from tiredness rather than unwillingness.

(Now in the very beginning, I felt a sudden need for Rob. * Quite emotional, as if he was dead and I wanted him. Spoke his name in ejaculation in my mind. Quick intense sorrow. Had just thought consciously how much he meant to me. Feeling vanished. I forgot it until now. Rather unsettling. I asked mentally if Rob was in any trouble, got no answer. [As I wrote this down, in the second sentence with the * I found myself substituting Rob’s name, no, Walt’s name for Rob’s. Maybe something happened to Walt? Notice the correction in last sentence—there wasn’t any sense of danger; sorrow after an event? Nor did it seem particularly an immediate event, or even necessarily one in near future.]

(A boy handed me a long, legal-sized black envelope. Helen McIlwain’s name was the return address, written in black ink on the envelope. [She was a friend of my mother’s, now dead.] I took the envelope to contain notification of my mother’s death. I guess I opened it and read inside, though now I don’t recall doing so. Then with relief saw that the death was not to be that close. Not my mother, but a young girl. Got the name Linda, and the last name, which I think I’ve forgotten—don’t think it was Butts. But there was a connection with Linda.