“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Also on Saturday evening Jane and I attended a set of Japanese Noh plays at Elmira College, at the invitation of Bill Macdonnel, who had a part in one of them. Bill has been a witness several times. After the play, at a party for the cast and friends, Bill was seized by severe chest and back pain; he left for home with his parents.

It is really necessary that the young man get a dwelling place away from his family, and in one respect, the attack involving the lungs represented an attempt to put off responsibility. As such for a time it serves a good purpose. Other responsibilities in his profession were being put upon him, and this plus his intent to find his own apartment all weighed upon him, until he had to get out from under.

He dared not fall sick until the final night of the play’s run, although the attack almost occurred just before the first night of the play. Ultimately he will have to get out on his own. It is almost necessary that he realize the way his mother is dominating him, and understand his own dependence. Otherwise he fights phantoms and uses up valuable energy that he now desperately needs.

When you understand that basically all are one, and that in actuality there are no limitations between self and notself, then these facts will not bother you. It also of course works the other way, so that when an individual feels energy-depleted, he does subconsciously, and by the same sort of process, drain off reserves from nonidentity molecular sources.

As in many cases an old man will appear womanish, so a personality reincarnated steadily as a male will develop strong and overlycompensated-for female characteristics, as is the case with Loren in this existence. The very fact that the personality evades a female reincarnation is evidence of an already developed fear. The personality of Loren, you see, is basically female despite the fact that he has never had a female reincarnation. This led to the confusion.

Ruburt by all means should confine himself to using his best energy for his daily creative work, not draining it by worrying about material which he has sent out into what he considers the cold world.

This is his only hope of peace of mind and emotional stability. It would be advantageous for him, just when he begins the practice of psychological time, to suggest to himself that the work of the day is of primary importance. Certain arbitrary dates can be selected, any dates, for necessary letters to editors; and these letters should be written as automatically as possible.

If he were more concerned with the quality of daily material and less with outer success and recognition, he would not be in such a mental turmoil and emotional turmoil over material that is being submitted to publishers. There must be an inner freedom here.

I would suggest even, as you did Joseph, a vacation air. He takes out his aggression against editors upon his own body, which is highly ridiculous. I would also suggest that he return to the back exercises. There is somewhat more here I would say, but I am being blocked.

A short morning walk would also benefit Ruburt; even though he would resent the loss of time he would more than make up for it.