“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

[...] Saturday morning, then, as I was in Robinson’s lumber for parts for Jane’s chair, I met Curt Kent, who used to work with Cec and myself at Artistic; I haven’t seen Curt for perhaps two years, Cec since last Christmas. [...] When Jane called, Ellspeth told her she’d been working at fixing up or restoring an old chair—as I was working with an old chair for Jane. [...] It was still sitting on our kitchen counter when Ellspeth and Heinz carried their cheesecake in. Then when Debbie Janney arrived Saturday evening, she told me that she had just missed meeting me at Steiner’s photo studio earlier that week; going there to have a portrait taken, she’d seen by accident the enlargements of my parents that Mr. Steiner was making for me. I was due to pick them up the next day, and she asked Mr. S. to tell me she’d been there, but he forgot to mention it. [...]

(Jane was quite relaxed as she told me she wanted a session at about 8 PM. [...] The evening was beautiful. [...]

(Last Saturday, the 6th, was not only “chair day,” as I told Jane, but seemingly synchronicity day also. [...]

(I should also note that when I met Curt at the lumberyard I never really got to talk much with him, because I was so busy running down parts and asking clerks for help. [...]

[...] (I think I was in my astral body though.) I knew that I was dreaming, thought to myself that it was very difficult to read such material in the dream state but that I would try in any case. [...] The last name was something like Faulk, but it wasn’t, I don’t think. Was Betty the woman’s name? [...]

(One thing that led to our decision to cut down the visits was that I felt that often Jane seemed worse after the nurses left than she was before they arrived, although her being stirred up for a couple of hours may have contributed to my feeling. [...] [She told Jane she’s had five operations herself.] Jane got so that when Eleanor was here she was constantly saying “no, no, no” to herself as the nurse talked, in order to protect herself from that steady barrage.

(We have yet to be given the results of the thyroid-blood test that was to be run last Wednesday, according to Dr. K’s nurse. [...] There may have been delays or goof-ups, as happened while Jane was in the hospital. [...]

[...] I said I wished she’d made notes, which upset Jane because she thought I should have been glad she got the material to begin with, whether or not it was written down. [...] One of Seth’s points was that we’d “taken a crash course” in medical beliefs, or words to that effect, I believe. [...]

[...] “I was aware of that where I started to doze off,” Jane said as soon as she was out of trance. [...]

Now: The framework provided an outside structure of nonchalant interactions with people, so that even when Ruburt was tempted to withdraw there was some exterior stimuli present. [...]

While Ruburt was in the framework of beliefs he held, the apartment house then did serve somewhat as a countermeasure. [...] He was not trustful enough of his own being to handle his daily life in more isolated circumstances.

[...] This was highly symbolic, meaning that he could walk only in one way. [...] There was then a built-in excuse also.

(The session was interrupted by a long-distance call for Jane from Cleveland. [...]

[...] Jane paused, eyes closed; then they opened easily, and she was out of trance. This was her easiest transition in some little while. [...]

[...] She said it was like a cone or pyramid suspended above her head, and that as she went into trance she was to “align” herself directly beneath this cone, which is inverted. [...]

(The voice was also Seth’s, strong, much deeper, and immediate. It was also amused.)

[...] She had been working hard on her projected book, and was also concerned because she hadn’t heard from either F. Fell or Prentice-Hall. [...]

[...] It was a very beautiful elm tree that died several years ago, and I was quite attached to it. [...] When the tree fell its branches seemed to crumple and break as though there was no strength left in them. [...]

(In the beginning her voice was a little strong but not deep; her eyes were dark as usual and her pace rather slow and steady. By first break her voice was normal, and since these conditions prevailed for the rest of the session they need not be mentioned again.)

[...] Jane was dissociated as usual. [...] Jane particularly missed the channel for music only, since she was used to working by this in the mornings.

[...] That is, the strength of the inner sensual impact was as weakened and diluted as it would have been if what you heard was a cry through the outer ear that came originally from centuries already gone by.

[...] I’d feared it was too harsh, but as I read aloud I did see that it expressed my thinking. [...] She suggested trying dream suggestion to get clues as to the root causes of her fears, and I said that that was a good approach.

(The day was warm and rainy at times, and the windows were wide open. Once again, her Seth voice was quiet, and I had to pay close attention to hear it competing with other hospital sounds. [...]

(I didn’t say so because the time was speeding past and I felt dead tired myself, but the session seemed to offer some glimmers of hope. Earlier today Jane had remarked several times that on April 20th she’ll have been in the hospital a year, and she didn’t see how she was ever going to get out.

[...] Earlier this afternoon I’d repeated my own grim assertion that putting oneself in Jane’s condition because of a fear of others, or the world at large, was untenable, and that I’d never stand for it. I asked her if she’d done enough of that herself after the session, and she said she was ready to change. [...]

[...] Jane was very well dissociated—far-out, she said. Her pace was never fast, and her eyes had opened very few times. She was tired.

[...] Jane was again far-out. [...] She was aware of the first long pause, lasting at least two minutes. She knew something was coming, but not what, and afterward didn’t know whether it applied to Don Wollheim or to Frederick Fell, editor and publisher respectively.

(Don Wollheim and his wife and daughter visited us Friday evening, September 2. This session was held on Wednesday, August 31, but was not typed up by Friday. [...]

[...] She was rather tired and yawning by 9 PM. [...]

[...] “There were long periods, weren’t there?” Jane asked as soon as she was out of it, meaning that she had been aware of the numerous long pauses in her delivery. “When I saw what time it was, I almost didn’t want to do it—but I still wanted to try, no matter what.” Now she was wide awake and alert, much more at ease and talking rapidly.

[...] And I knew she was going back into the session. This time her Seth voice was even more forceful and confident, and she took fewer pauses. [...]

(Once again, very forcefully:)But it was material; it was data that you needed, and did not want at the same time. [...]

(After Rusty and Hal left we napped, changed dressings, etc., and before we knew it I was hurrying to get supper and do other chores so that we’d have time for a session. [...]

(As I was transcribing the above involved sentence from Jane’s dictation I was somewhat aware that it contained incomplete phrases. [...] As usual my mind was on getting the next word on paper, rather than to critically appraise each one. [...]

[...] Her actual sensation was one of returning to it. [...] The sensation was extremely brief, she said, and hard to describe. [...]

[...] Jane was well dissociated. [...] Her last delivery was broken by some very long pauses. [...]

[...] Your experiences occurred when the ego, because of your illness, was momentarily exhausted, its control lessened. The personality was then momentarily aware of realities that the ego would ordinarily attempt to block. [...]

(End at 12:07 a.m. After coming out of trance Jane attempted to describe a manifestation which, though invisible, was “hovering before us now like a big oval type of thing.” It was made up of a group of energies that could represent a personality like Seth, she said, yet it was nameless. It was just there, and gave her no feeling particularly that it was going to be of assistance. [...]

[...] She didn’t remember the material, and was amazed that an hour had passed. I told her I’d taken the break because I was still worried about Willy.

(“Not since the sessions started [in 1963] have I felt that Seth’s material was so richly available. I wasn’t able to be that open before this — I couldn’t accept a lot that was right there because it didn’t fit in with my beliefs.” [...]

(A note added a few days later: This session was held on Wednesday. We had guests the following Friday evening, and as Jane described the multiple-channel effects to them, she realized that she was tuning into some of Seth’s backlog of data about peer groups and the need to conform. [...]

[...] Jane was fully dissociated. She said that for some reason she was aware that when the session began she would be “far-out” right away. [...]

[...] It was 9:58. My hand was in fact tiring, but I denied it because I thought Seth wanted to continue in order to make some particular point.)

[...] It was 10:36, and again I answered in the negative although my hand was tired, thinking she wanted to make a particular point.)

[...] Jane was dissociated as usual. She said she had indeed painted too long today; but although she was tired before the session began, she feels fine now. [...]

Consciously you knew this was a rich country in your present life, but unconsciously you held to these old feelings of fear. Now these old feelings also hung over you in that you felt that existence was much more difficult than it actually is now, and you are still relating to this old existence where times were so difficult. [...] This man was not a family relationship...was not in a family relationship. [...] The man was the kind who gained feelings of superiority and pleasure from helping you, but also helped you quite legitimately and kindly. [...] Now she, for quite other reasons, was attracted to you, but you have been terrified that alone you could not make it and would not survive. [...]

[...] The particular life that we dealt with so briefly made an extremely strong psychic effect upon you for it was nearly impossible to cope, there was no food. [...] But it left you, that life, with the feeling that physical reality was so difficult that you could not handle it alone. [...]

[...] It is a strange relationship you had, for he was an uncle of yours in a past life. [...] And he was a beloved uncle. [...]

She was vital to you as a symbol but not a symbol of independence, but as a symbol of dependence. And neither of you would have agreed to the separation nor would the separation have taken place until both of you realized that it was time for this event to occur. [...]

It was only your idea that this was not natural that prevented you from using your abilities fully. Ruburt thought it was natural for him to become ill because of his background, and to overreact for the same reason. He thought it was natural for him to be afraid of life because his mother was.

Your trip (Sunday, April 13; we drove to Cortland, NY) was beneficial, but it was impeded by negative thoughts of Ruburt’s, and also to some degree by the fact that you pointed out his symptoms without reminding him that the inner self could and would minimize them. [...]

[...] At break I took pains to explain to Jane that with the new approach I was using, I was quite aware that Seth had said it all before, and planned to go back over portions of the material thoroughly.)

[...] He was more pessimistic than you realized. A sick kitten was a dead kitten, not one who might recover.

[...] He did not mention it, and told himself it was indeed little enough. Still, it meant that the body was regaining balance, and was an important development.

[...] The “trouble” yesterday and the day before with the jaw was the result of the release of tension. [...] The tensing of the jaw was one of the original physical initiations of the difficulty.

[...] The walking is easier than it was. [...]

[...] Before, the same muscle was hard, rigid, and unyielding.

(The temperature today was half that of yesterday—about 32 degrees—when I got to 330. Jane was sort of blue as she lay on her left side. [...] It developed that she’d had to have a new catheter inserted at around 11:00 AM, and that she was worried about being transferred to another room if and when the administration shut down surgical 3, as they call it. [...]

[...] She wouldn’t say the effort was her very best, but it was certainly close to it—an excellent sign. [...]

[...] Her left leg was up 4 inches off the mattress. [...]

[...] Judy seemed to think that what she’d been told about the six patients was pretty reliable. [...]

(Jane was again very uncomfortable today when she lay on her back. [...] My own eventual conclusion was that more was involved — that it had to do with her attitudes and beliefs.

(The day was warm — in the 60’s — and rainy at times. [...] Down the hall somewhere a woman was shouting periodically — a display that took a lot of work and energy after a few hours. [...]

[...] “I got the feeling there was something definitely involved in the increase in the circulation of our books,” Jane said when I was through. [...]

[...] Of course, we noticed that Seth had said that Jane’s discomfort was only partially caused by her fears that she cannot heal herself. [...]

(It was 4:20 before either of us realized it. [...] At 4:30 I rang for an aide, since the medicine bag was empty on its pole at the head of Jane’s bed. [...] Her Seth voice was indeed on the quiet side.)

(There was some water in the cellar last night from the steady downpour of yesterday. [...] It was very warm again — 42 degrees — as I left for 330.

(Jane had another excellent episode of increased motions in both arms and hands as I was getting ready to leave, and in her feet also. I encouraged her to keep it up even if she was alone, and if she called tonight, to give me a progress report. [...]

[...] Yet she’d achieved something, so it was worth keeping on with for a while, I said.

(Once again now, Jane was quite relaxed. [...] The situation wasn’t without its humorous aspects, however, for Seth himself seemed eager to go: As we sat for the session Jane said she was getting material from him on several topics. [...] That is, why would we say we’re limited if we didn’t feel there was more to begin than we usually think there is?” It was another of those ideas that are quite obvious, once mentioned. Jane was also picking up on Seth’s dictation for tonight. [...]

(A private session was held on Monday evening.

[...] No, I told her, I thought it was an excellent title, and that it said exactly what she wanted the reader to know.¹

(With gentle irony:) No one told it that it was impossible to grow from a tiny cell — change that to a tiny organism instead of a cell — to a complicated adult structure. [...]

The car with the siren might disappear, yet the alarmed person’s attitude and actions may very well instantly cause his or her companion to realize that something was clearly amiss. The disturbed person may immediately begin a long tirade, describing previous episodes in which he or she was hunted from city to city. There may be further complications, in which the person insists that phones were bugged, letters opened, and privacy was constantly invaded.

(Going through the mail was rewarding, though — for in various letters I found checks adding up to more than $375. [...]

[...] Instantly the person might leap up, convinced that that was evidence of the pursuit of the FBI or other agency.

This might be the very first sign to the person’s companion that anything was wrong at all. [...]