“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

He lost his own wife, and was left with a highly neurotic and completely crippled daughter, for whom he cared for many years. The woman’s name as a man (pause) was Nicolo Vanguardi (my phonetic interpretation) and the daughter’s name was Rosalina. [...]

When she was 33 she was more youthful appearing than women much younger who were forced to work in the fields. [...]

The father was thoroughly embittered. The daughter had left too late; he was too old. [...]

[...] This was the major stumbling block, the last major one for this personality. Other lives had been fulfilling, but the personality had never set for itself (pause) any position in the past that was not one of strength.

(In the 223rd session for January 16, 1966, Seth said that my name in the Denmark life was Larns Devonsdorf. My wife then was named Letti Cluse. My son — who is now Jane — was Graton. Seth, a prosperous merchant, traveler, and family friend, was named Brons Martzens.)

(11:27 P.M. “That was funny,” Jane said, after she rested for a few minutes. “I was really out that last time but it was for such a short time that I really felt the transitions from ‘here’ to ‘there’ and back. [...]

(And although I was getting weary, it was apparent that Seth could easily shift into a state where his energy would seem inexhaustible.)

It was indeed. It was tailor-made for her.

(Jane was ready for the session at 8:45, so we sat for it in our bedroom for extra privacy. [...] This was in or near Constantinople. The girl’s name was Sharabena, and she was Jane in that life as I was Nebene.

[...] I was prepared if she did go into a rage, but this didn’t develop. “I was part of that cult Seth told you about last time...you know where it was. [...]

[...] But I was spontaneous, like I am now, and you needed that then just like you do now,” she said with emphasis. [...] It’s like it was all black and white then. [...]

(There was more, of course, that I didn’t get down, or recall, but it would follow the same vein. It was very revealing. [...]

He became quite good at expressing this inner life regardless of other circumstances, and the situation at home, and he understood that it was at odds with what was expected. It was the most vital area of his life, so quite on his own he decided that he would forgo motherhood and a conventional family life.

[...] Even science fiction was not large enough, imaginatively, to contain his abilities, and when those abilities did indeed flower he was afraid he was more of an outcast than ever.

[...] His poetry was largely mystical poetry, and though he did not dwell upon the fact, he realized that this vast inner reality of his was quite beside the point of living as far as other people were concerned.

[...] That existence was expressed in the personality, but not in the normal conversation with the boys he dated, or with his friends. [...] When he left it, however, he was without such a structure, and when he did discuss such matters with the priests, they often had more pragmatic sexual interests in mind.

Even the first had its psychological implications, for the uncle at that time was dissatisfied with existence, and with his accomplishments, and the carelessness that helped result in his accident was also partially his own. But the fact that the conception was accidental, and the death was accidental, has its own intuitive logic.

Your sister was also fond of the uncle, and therefore was instrumental in this life in allowing him new entry; but you joined for that purpose only. The fascination was an expression of a past fascination of a different kind, though you were pleased that this time you were older.

[...] While there was a past family connection, you were not the closest of friends, and there was no need or desire on either of your parts for a family connection of any duration in this life.

[...] Jane was out of trance easily. [...] This was not a country setting.

[...] Her manner was active; she was smoking and sipping wine. Her pace was good.)

Your cat was hit, in your terms, at 10:30 in the morning. It was no coincidence that Ruburt took the flashlight and decided to check the clothes. In this case the cat’s accident was not caused by you in any way. [...]

[...] The cat accepted this simply because the resentment was too huge for him, and he was snowed under. The man, seeing the results, was subconsciously but clearly brought face to face with the size of his own problem.

[...] A prediction was given that Jane would receive a teaching job she had applied for at Elmira College. This was on October 26,1966, Wednesday, and predicted for November 2, the following Wednesday. On November 7, Jane was notified that she would not get the job.

[...] Then sometime later I realized I’d been very comfortable, sleeping great, but was now getting sore again—hips in particular, and arms. Then I became disoriented, and couldn’t figure out if I was in bed or in my chair. Realized I was in bed, in a particular position and making certain motions that were self-conflicting, leading to the discomfort; and that I was in this position because I thought I’d done something wrong that somehow necessitated the position. Guilt was involved. At the same time almost I realized quite clearly that I’d made a mistake; I hadn’t done anything wrong and the position was needless. [...]

The voice episode Seth mentioned in our last session was very brief, not too vivid, but definite. During my nap a few days ago, as I wakened, a voice in my head was saying.... [...]

[...] For one thing, the air inside the room was normal. For another, I felt as if I was observing a legitimate glimpse of air from the framework of a different kind of perception. Was this in some way air slowed down? And if so, was my “body” in the same state? Was this what air was really like and was it perceived this way by certain kinds of consciousness or at particular stages of molecular activity? [...]

The next thing I knew, I was flying above land a good deal south of here because there was no snow, and a Middle-Atlantic-States-type landscape. Many cars were heading north, and there was some commotion at an intersection below. [...] Some kind of a roadblock was set up. I tried to come closer to the ground to see more clearly, but instead was whisked back through the air to Elmira.

Actually, I was only remotely aware of the difficulties of my hand. Instead, my mind was filled with memories of the spectacular colors I had seen. For a moment, I was almost enthralled as I partially recalled them out of the nowhere into which they had vanished. [...] Walking downtown, I was depressed. It was weeks later before I regained my normal feelings for our apartment. [...]

[...] It was another dark day, and the air was full of moisture. [...] I was standing before the open window, looking out at the pear tree, but it was the air itself that captured my attention. It was transparent as always but thick as Jell-O.

[...] “I was Seth then,” she said, “but it was half and half there for a while. It was really funny,” she laughed. [...] It was more me topside, but he was definitely there at the end.”

The Christ drama is a case in point, where private and mass dreams were then projected outward into the historical context of time, and then reacted to in such a way that various people became exterior participants—but in a far larger mass dream that was then interpreted in the most literal of physical terms. Even while it was, it also got the message across, though the inner drama itself was not recalled, and as the dream merged with historical events, and as it was interpreted by so many, its message also became distorted—or rather, it mixed and merged with other such dreams, whose messages were far different.

[...] “I knew there was some connection between the Christ thing and what’s happening in the world today, and that was it. I like it when it’s fun, and that was fun. That was a nice smooth state of consciousness.”

(I tried hard to focus on what she was telling me, so that I could write it down at once, but as she continued I saw that I’d inevitably lose a lot of it. [...] Her dictation was a little fast, so that I scribbled notes at times. [...]

[...] I was in bed, and then I realized that I heard voices in my head; was not at all sure that this was a dream. [...] I was frightened because I couldn’t turn them off and they seemed to go on as if the people they belonged to had no idea that I could hear so clearly. [...] The volume was startling in itself. [...] It was as if there was a radio in my head that kept switching from station to station.

[...] Then I realized that my small transistor radio was at the head of the bed, that the voices were coming out of two speakers on it. [...] As a result I was afraid to touch the radio again, or yank the cord, so I left it and went into my room, the living room. [...] Perhaps there was an electric storm outside, and electricity of some sort in my room. [...] The earlier fear was gone.)

(Since Seth gave us the material on therapeutic dreams last Wednesday, I began suggesting that I would experience one, as I was in a bad mood generally speaking and had been for a week; also I felt poorly with aches and pains etc.; nothing serious but annoying.

[...] The first dream was entirely forgotten until I had completed writing my notes on the second dream, then I recalled the first one.

(I tried to explain to Jane that fear on conscious levels was what was holding her back. That Seth was right: The body was perfectly willing to move, and knew how to do so, if it was allowed to do so. “Maybe it was my ulcers that kept me from moving all that time,” she said.

[...] I felt her right leg; the whole thing was tense and hard, from close to the groin on down. [...] I said I supposed the leg was tense so as to serve as a sort of splint for the broken bone near the knee. [...]

(I’d instantly understood the import of what she was saying—that here her body had within itself all the time that fantastic ability to move. [...] But I found it ironic indeed that that capacity was there, while on conscious levels we were trying to move an inch at a time, when we could do so by leaps and bounds as far as the body’s abilities and willingness were concerned. [...]

[...] Waking, she said she’d dreamed that she was home in the shower, on her hands and knees part of the time, with the water cascading upon her head. [...] We hoped the dream was another therapeutic episode along the way. [...]

[...] Jane said Seth could have gone on, and that she was tempted to try to hold the session. She was not very much dissociated. Willy bothered her immediately, she said; yet at the same time she was more dissociated than she had thought possible under the circumstances.

(At 6:00 AM Jane woke me to say that she was in the grip of an extremely painful stiff neck. By the time we obtained treatment for it the time was close to noon, so it seemed there would be no session this evening, or at most a few words from Seth acknowledging the seriousness of Jane’s predicament.

Ruburt is not quite with me this evening because of his condition, and it was this conflict that was sensed by your cat. [...]

[...] My dear friends, I wish you a fond good evening; and may I mention briefly that you were right, Joseph; your last experience with psychological time was most significant. And Ruburt had also tuned in on the same conversation, but had already begun to tense, and therefore was blocking every psychological stimulus in the hopes of blocking out the right one. [...]

[...] This was indeed due to the fact that their knowledge was desperately needed, and their experience. [...] Beside this, however, their energy was utilized in a different fashion than yours is: They alternated between the waking and dream states, and while asleep they did not age as quickly. [...] Although this was true, their dreaming mental processes did not slow down. There was a much greater communication in the dream state, so that some lessons were taught during dreams, while others were taught in the waking condition. There was a greater and greater body of knowledge to be transmitted as physical existence continued, for they did not transmit private knowledge only, but the entire body of knowledge that belonged to the group as a whole.”

[...] I was underwater, to one side, and viewed everything as an observer. [...] I saw no people or fish—just the ship, the ocean, and its floor, which was free of obstacles to the ship’s easy passage. The fact that the ship could navigate that way underwater was a revelation to me, and I knew that in some way this boded well for my future. I was very pleased. [...]

[...] The Bible that you recognize—or that is recognized—is not the first, however, but was compiled from several earlier ones as man tried to look back, so to speak, recount his past and predict his future. [...] It was only much later that this information was written down, and by then of course much had been forgotten. [...]

[...] There were many unfortunate misuses of the old system of having a son follow in his father’s footsteps, yet the son at a young age was given meaningful work to do, and felt a part of life’s mainstream. He was needed.

[...] He was no better when I returned, and as the morning passed we came to realize that he had a urinary problem. That afternoon I took him to the veterinarian, who kept him for treatment; the problem was serious; by then the cat was in great pain. [...] During the session Seth discussed Billy’s illness to some extent, while also giving the first “installment” of an answer to a longstanding question of mine: I was curious about the relationship between the host — whether human, animal, or plant — and a disease it might contract, one that was “caused,” say, by a virus. [...]

(On Tuesday the veterinarian told us by telephone that Billy was better, that “probably” we could take him home the following afternoon; I was to call before making the drive across town, though. Wednesday afternoon, then, an hour before I was due to check, the phone rang. [...] And it was he, regretfully explaining that Billy had died an hour or so before. [...]

[...] From Seth she then picked up material to the effect that “time was in the present to the cat … in a way its life was eternal to it, whether it lived 10 months or 10 years, or whatever.” At the time (she wrote later for me) emotionally she objected strenuously to that message of Seth’s, since “it seemed too easy a way to sign off a cat’s life — or any other life — even if it was true. And I did accept that it was true, or as close to the truth as we could get….

[...] It wasn’t that the loss of “just a cat” was the only thing involved in our deep upsets (although Billy’s death came first in our reactions); we also felt a host of emotional and intellectual ramifications arising from that event. We still couldn’t believe Billy was gone for good. This effect was heightened because we had no body to “prove” his death to us. I hadn’t gone after him: The ground was frozen so I couldn’t bury him in the back yard beside Willy, and the veterinarian had agreed to dispose of the remains for us.

[...] Even though this light is on the other side of the bath door, due to reflection from the white walls of the room there was plenty of light. With the light on the room divider on, or the closet light on, the illumination was enhanced. Jane said that after careful thought she felt the closet light was also on during the break at 9:56. [...]

(Jane was up from her nap at 8:30 PM. [...] By 8:50 PM, Willy was once again prowling through the apartment, both alert and stealthy at the same time. [...]

The apparition, therefore, was constructed by Mark. You did not see it, Ruburt did not see it, because an individual only sees his own constructions; and in this case the idea data was only given to Mark.

[...] Therefore the construction was only seen by the one person to whom the inner clues were given. The construction was then formed, more or less in faithful replica to the inner data received by Mark.

[...] Jane started reading yesterday’s session, was interrupted by LuAnn checking her blood pressure early. The time was going fast. I worked with mail while Jane tried to read the session, but she had trouble doing so, and was very slow at it. [...]

(I was particularly glad to get Seth’s confirmation of the meaning of my dream. I was most concerned that we be able to maintain the financial status quo while Jane was showing so many improvements, along with the promise of doing even better. [...]

(Some more good points today: Ken Wrigley visited Jane this morning, examined the ulcer on her right knee, and said it was coming along well enough so that the debriding ointment, Trevose, isn’t needed any longer. [...]

(Then when Jan was helping Jane with her dental chores this morning, she noticed that Jane’s hands were working better—Jane even automatically reached out to hold a cup to her lips that ordinarily the staff people had to do before. [...]

[...] I was working in the middle room of our apartment; my studio is thus on my left, the living room on my right. Willy was sleeping in the closet. All was quiet when suddenly Willy burst out of the closet in a mad scramble, his nails sliding on the bare floor. [...]

(At 8:45 Jane said she was not very ambitious. She was a little nervous. [...] Pouring me a glass of wine just before the session was due, she said she could feel Seth “buzzing around.”

I was about your establishment earlier, and Ruburt was right. There was a purpose in his misreading. [...]

[...] Jane was dissociated as usual. Her delivery was very deliberate and quite slow. [...] Her voice was normal when she resumed at 9:32.)

[...] I was very relaxed. Jack was ready to leave, maybe for a trip. [...] I said, the vacuum (which was ours), was right there in plain sight. [...]

Jack Gridley was a politician we knew in the 60’s just about when the sessions started. In dream, he stands for authority; he was also quite a drunk. [...]

[...] During the night I was awakened several times, with that peculiar soreness in thighs and arms; at the same time my jaws dropped noticeably and I could feel motion going through my body. [...]

3. To consider: my worries when Seth was dictating Events about the effect of his ideas on medicine and impulses on others. [...]

(“When Jane came out of trance it was, again, an almost audible experience for me — a feeling of slowing down from a high airy whine to our normal ‘sound’ or speed. There was a great sense of change. It was as though part of this acceleration was connected with a dimension where sound was more than a hearing thing. [...]

(“Before break at 11:10,” Sue wrote, “when Seth told me that he was speeding up the acceleration to see if I could perceive it, I had the definite feeling of greater speed and a visual change in Jane’s body. [...] This was again connected with motion, as though the physical frequency was also changed, and Jane’s body was rushing past me, even while staying in the same place.

[...] Christ became the Crucified, Judas became the betrayer, though Christ was not crucified and Judas did not betray him. The reality, therefore, was in the myth. The reality was the myth. [...]

(Only one session was held last week, and that was a long overdue, promised one for friends.

[...] The Akkadian form, Bel, was used in ancient Mesopotamia. Baal — lord — was the name or title of a number of local deities of ancient Semitic peoples. [...] Baal was most often a god of fertility, its image of stone probably a phallic one. According to orthodox Israelite belief, Baal or nature worship was idolatrous, a denial of any moral values.

There was a major distortion having to do with B-A-E-L (spelled). [...] There was a city in a jungle — M-E-S-S-I-N-I (spelled) as nearly as I can translate it. [...] A new city was built which in its turn also disappeared. [...]

[...] The term “Speaker,” as Seth uses it, was as unknown to Jane and me then as it was to Ron and his family.)

[...] There was turmoil within the group, disagreement. There was disagreement over the meaning of the words that were recalled. [...]