“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

[...] After that, Ruburt felt that he must protect his ability, guarding it against the world, and even against any other tendencies that he felt might run counter to his ability. [...]

He wanted to protect himself against the “artistic temperament” as it is conventionally understood. He thought that body and mind were two different things, that the body must be controlled for the sake of the mind, that his consciousness existed apart—in his head, say—with its own abilities, while his body had its own pursuits as apart from his own. [...]

(10:20.) He overspecialized his ideas of creativity, for everything that comes to his attention is grist for the mill. As I said before, he must realize that it is safe and natural and good to express his being freely—not just a certain decided-upon portion of it. [...]

[...] “I had no idea he was going to do that,”” Jane said, meaning work on the new book. [...] And whatever he said about me, just give it to me and I’ll follow it to a T.”)

The above portions therefore were actually not dreams but experiences happening while he was dissociated. They shocked him; hence, the shock later on when he turned this into a dream. When he heard the voices, instead of becoming confident, he fell into a dream state. He did not want to accept the responsibility that he felt his abilities put upon him, and so in the dream, he looked for an outside source for the voices and dreamed the radio sequences. In the dream, however, the voices continue [after he switched the radio off] because he knows he is picking them up from a channel that is not physical.

In the dream, then, he goes into his own room. He has consciously forgotten this part, covering it with a vague reference to an electrical storm. In the dream itself, however, he discovers that his ability is as much a part of him as breath and can’t be turned off and on at will. [...] He stands in the middle of the room, touched by vibrating currents. Though he is afraid, he realizes that he is part of the storm — it is not destructive but creative and, most of all, a simple elemental part of reality. [...]

He tries again, discovering another radio on your bookcase, Joseph, where our manuscripts are kept. The connection is obvious, for he knows that the Seth Material comes from the same system as the voices. Here he reaches out to turn the radio off and gets a shock; the shock is his realization that the Material itself would cease were he to shut off his abilities. [...] Were he to shut off his abilities as one can turn off a radio, then you would also be deprived.

[...] If an individual has strong feelings of dependency that cannot be expressed in daily life, he will express these in dreams. If he does not, then he may develop an illness that allows him to be dependent in physical life. If he is aware of difficulties, however, he may request dreams that will release this feeling.

Ruburt has been waiting until you were ready to actually begin typing the first book, until he saw the actual pages, and knew that you were finished with the bulk of the reference work and so forth. When he sees you beginning the actual typing he will feel free again for other book sessions. No matter what you said, he felt that he did not want to add to your work until then.

Personally, Ruburt understands however that he exaggerated the negative elements of his condition, thinking that he was being realistic. He did not realize that before. [...]

Until an individual gains enough confidence in the concept of a safe universe, he or she will hang on to many of those attitudes. [...]

[...] Until very recently, however, Ruburt did not recognize that he often placed the worst kind of connotations upon, for example, his own condition, or behavior in certain manners. [...]

Ruburt is of course much more familiar with sense impressions than he is with internal data, or with impressions that do not come to him through the physical senses. Therefore in our experiments, often, I will give him an impression, and he will automatically translate it into visual terms, although his eyes are closed. And then he is tempted to interpret it literally, as he would an ordinary visual image.

[...] In many cases this translation is done by the intervening psychological framework, which is simply the psychological point closest to the meeting of Ruburt’s personality and my own, for he does not fade out as a personality. He extends himself in an expansion. [...]

For simplicity’s sake, I say that I gave him the image, but actually I gave him the impression, which he translated into an image, so that he could deal with it in a more familiar way.

[...] Ruburt’s associations may go for example from C, D, E, and F, but precisely where he would say G, we must insert X or Y, and do it so smoothly that he is quite unaware.

[...] He also was aware however of your own comparative imprisonment in a limited present. [...] He realized therefore, when the incident occurred, how it would end. He can relive the incident at his leisure, and experience it as present if he so chooses.

He can also remember it from any viewpoint in his future, if he chooses. He can give this information about this event to his own image as it existed in time before the contact was made. He can therefore make alterations in any aspect of time as it affects him.

[...] He wants a repeat, but he fears he will not get it, simply because he wants it so badly, and the student reacts to this subconscious inhibiting factor.

However, only by making mistakes can Ruburt learn to distinguish the highly nebulous changes, subjectively speaking, that characterize legitimate hits from failures, and without the experience he would not learn. [...] He was working on the level of personal associations. There is a certain feel to the correct channel, and he will learn to distinguish it.

It is not the time he spends working, necessarily. He should understand this by now, but the effort, energy and concentration that is expended. Now, it is to be expected that he expend energy and that he concentrate with some thoroughness, but at times he becomes emotionally weary as a result of expending huge amounts of energy within a small amount of time, comparatively speaking.

He does now and then need a rest from such matters however, and the release of purely physical stimuli and enjoyments. He needs to throw himself occasionally into other activities. When he does not do so he tries too hard, and the very attempt throws him back on his own nervous energy.

(This reminds me that on page 58 of the 206th session, Seth briefly described what he usually “sees” of us, or any witnesses, during a session. Unless he narrows his focus and concentration to concentrate upon the present individual during a session, Seth told us he sees a composite image, an energy reality that is composed of past personalities, and in many cases also of future personalities that will be adopted by the inner self.)

[...] The “meeting” grows out of Mr. Fell’s reference that in this telephone call of February 8, he felt he was getting acquainted with Jane as a person, meeting her personally; also that he looked forward to their meeting in May.

[...] John Bradley said at first that he knew of nothing he is taking into his system that would encourage fluid retention. He said he very occasionally takes Metamucil, which is inert.

He is not driven, but he knows his abilities and how to use them, and he knows how to retain his integrity in society... [...]

(“Tom C., he’s got hair like spikes on his forehead...Tom Crompton. He’s 36. [...] A group of 4 people; he and a woman are one... [...]

[...] He spoke to Carl about a game involving mathematics and drama that would make millions for Carl, should he succeed in working it out. [...]

[...] The massager is very beneficial now, for his body is pliable enough now to respond—but more, as he used it recently the intent to relax is there. The mechanical aid is good: he is safely seated, and he has also used the occasion to relax his mind.

The eyes have improved enough so that he can work near normally enough at his writing, and they will continue to improve. [...] Ruburt does not think of books that he did not finish. [...]

[...] You can indeed now, to some extent, serve as a leader to Ruburt in certain areas, where before you feared that might inhibit his independence, and you felt he needed the freedom to grow.

[...] That confidence is important, and it is only where he, first of all, and you secondarily, doubt it that difficulty occurs.

Now, you (to Garrett) had your strongest sense of immediacy with our friend over here, and he encountered each of you according to his own light, at the moment, as he met you. You could agree or disagree with what he felt or what he said. He could have been in any instance right or wrong, but he met you squarely and spontaneously, and you felt that aliveness and responded to it. [...]

[...] He figures, you see, he can get sensitivity sessions elsewhere. [...]

(Theodore had been discussing the trouble he was having in psy-time.)

[...] I am waiting to see how you do, and Ruburt will be mad at me because he will say that you will not be spontaneous if you know I am around and, you see, you must prove him wrong. [...]

The hand was not injured, that is not knocked as by bunking, but was irritated due to a change of wrist motion occurring when he began to use a second typewriter, which he had not used for many years. [...] The automatic wrist motion that he regularly uses in his touch typing was knocked askew, the pattern broken, and he used an erratic pressure that induced strain. [...]

Nevertheless, because the patient is in a condition where he is most susceptible to suggestions, a great responsibility lies upon the shoulders of those who would treat illness. The chiropractor’s suggestion that the irritation was an arthritic one was made positively; that is, without thinking he stated “Oh yes, that is not normal at all, it is an arthritic nodule.” Later, realizing that the suggestion had been a poor one, and moreover one of which he was not certain, he amended the statement, adding that such a formation could also be the result of injury or simple irritation to the joint.

[...] In it he said that although he was not sure, he thought Jane’s schoolgirl friend, Marie Tubbs, now living in Florida, may have been in childbirth at the time of Jane’s dream, with a possibility that the water bag had broken during birth. [...]

[...] Seth had not yet mentioned the nodule on her wrist, and we agreed that he was probably waiting until she attained a deeper state before he dealt with personal material of this sort.

It added considerably, however, to the thick coat of responsibility that he placed about his own shoulders. He is still harder on women than he is on men in that regard. [...] It showed that he was not a frivolous female, fancifully following each stray imaginative trance image. [...]

[...] “I got something at the tail end of the session that he didn’t say,” Jane told me. [...] I don’t know why he didn’t say that. I waited to see if he was going to give it, and when he didn’t, I did.”

(9:46.) At the same time, he recognized the excellence of our joint creativity. When you overstress the idea of responsibility, pleasure largely goes out the window, so he is now learning to redefine the term, “pleasure,” and to experience it in its many forms. He is learning to identify himself with his pleasures —a highly important point—one that, understood, can release triggers of healing energy and creative impetus. [...]

[...] At the same time of course he naturally resented such dictates. [...] (Long pause.) Because women were somehow regarded as less responsible than males, more easily given to frivolity, Ruburt also tried even harder to insure that he was acting in a responsible way. [...]

It shows he is ready to encounter himself, and at least willing to look kindly upon himself. Of course, the lipstick is an excellent idea, and the eyebrow pencil, so that he begins to care for his face as he used to. [...] A smile, even when he does not feel like smiling, builds up the self-image, and affects the entire bodily condition.

[...] He understands so little about the eyes’ operation to begin with, that he does not bother to figure out, or try to figure out, the order that such improvements should take, or how they should happen.

[...] It might help if now and then he imagines his walking taking place as easily and naturally as his thoughts come and go, and in ways as mysterious as the way his vision operates, when it is suddenly clearer, and he reads so much more quickly — for the quick reading will soon be the norm.

It is indeed a step forward that he looked in the mirror today — a very important issue — and so is your suggestion that he do so briefly every day — and smiles (amused).

[...] He is so cautious that he allowed Dr. J.B. Rhine to make advances in the field of parapsychology that he could have produced himself, had he been more daring. He holds this against Rhine to this day.

He did not know his wife requested the session, and I do not want it known. He will give you a statement to my benefit, but not the kind of a statement you may want to use. He did attend a session here himself, and you may request a statement on that session.

Robert and Jane operated in a vacuum, since he did not tell them anything regarding the tests, negative or favorable. [...]

[...] The impressions which were given by me through Ruburt, in Ruburt’s (Jane’s) own voice, were correct, however, and I believe he will attest to this.

[...] If he is brilliant he may receive the acclaim of his fellows, but the artist, whether or not he finds acclaim, must still always be face to face with that creative challenge. And if he is acclaimed for work that he knows is beneath his abilities, he will find no pleasure in the acclaim. [...]

[...] The spider has its own kind of confidence, however, and a different organization in which he operates. [...] Is it the best web I can construct?” He certainly does not sit brooding and webless as he contemplates the errors he might make. [...]

[...] In the most basic of ways, the artist cannot say where he is going, for if he knows ahead of time he is not creating but copying, or following a series of prescribed steps like a mathematician. [...]

A note: Beside your dream images, and so forth, which are indeed an excellent idea, you have advantages here that the young man of some 20 or 30 years ago would have envied: he would have been delighted with the screened-in porches. Perfect, he would have thought, at least one of them, for a summer studio. [...] He would have found a way to use them in the summertime. [...]

Ruburt is more stable a personality than he knows, and thus he can now handle himself without dependence upon artificial supports such as his smoking. He will find that work on his book will go very well, smoothly. [...]

[...] He should keep a close watch upon his smoking now, and immediately after his birthday he should break the habit completely. And I believe he will.

[...] Ruburt is quite exhausted, though he may not realize it, and he will be quite recovered by morning. [...]

[...] In the 104th session he gave details we think may refer to the offices of F. Fell in NYC, involving a red chair, certain individuals, etc. [...]

[...] He could enjoy the cooling drink (Coke), the change of position, the sudden relief of turning from one hip to another. His weaknesses were out in the open, dramatically presented, and from that point, unless he chose death he could only go forward: for suddenly he felt that there was after all some (underlined) room to move, that achievements were possible, where before all achievements seemed beside the point in the face of his expected superhuman activity. [...]

If earlier, however, Ruburt had the erroneous idea that he was going too fast—or would or could—and had to restrain himself and to exert caution, now he received the medical prognosis, the “physical proof” that such was not the case—and in fact that the opposite was true: he was too slow. [...]

(Long pause at 7:46, one of many.) If Ruburt once found himself imagining that he must be strong and perfect enough to help solve everyone else’s problems, now he found himself relatively helpless, and “undefended” —that is, his physical condition put him in a situation certainly where he felt helpless. [...]

He will, then, continue to improve, because he has allowed himself some room for motion, for change of value fulfillment. [...]

[...] In prehistoric times, mankind evolved the ego to help him deal with camouflage patterns that he had, himself, created. [...] He did the job so well that even when he had things well under control, he was not satisfied. He developed at a lopsided level. The inner senses led him into a reality he could not manipulate as easily as he could physical camouflage, and he feared what he thought of as a loss of mastery.

[...] He is in such good health now that it’s difficult to remember how badly he felt. [...] Frequently he took notes on the old TV set, standing up, and sometimes he sat in the new rocker.

That weekend he didn’t feel well. Monday morning he tried self-hypnosis with good, though temporary, results. He felt better the rest of that day and on Tuesday. [...]

[...] He wants to know where the words are coming from and still wonders if I am a part of his subconscious; and I must admit that I find such an idea appalling. He wants his answers given to him in a way that his conscious mind can understand. [...]

Subconsciously he exaggerates the dangers that will beset him as a result of the publication, and the actual facts will be a relief. He is in many ways extremely individualistic. He fights for what he believes in, but he also has strong docile tendencies, which are usually rather effectively controlled. These rise up, you see however, in direct proportion to the degree of his independent accomplishments, so that he then fears the accumulated results, social results, of what he has done. It is therefore fairly natural that when this accomplishment is being exteriorized he would become frightened of the opinion of his brethren. [...]

He has himself built up psychic energies that allow this to be done. [...] Were he better known he would be informed of them, or if he lived nearby for example. [...]

(Laugh.) He is concerned, you see, over the publication of his book, period. He is concerned simply because these strong inner efforts will now become exteriorized to some extent. [...]

The delay bothers him simply because he is in suspense of the imagined rebuffs. The facts will prove otherwise, and he will be able to relax.

[...] He was more frightened when he encountered it than he realized. [...] At the same time, when he returned home he was afraid he could not handle events, and might fall toward a constant medical surveillance. It he could not “do it” in the medical manner, and if he could not “do it” on his own, then where was he? [...]

[...] He made a determined effort to come to a decision—at last—with that fresh experience behind him—a determination to go ahead and triumph. [...]

[...] He finally believed in me when I said he did not have arthritis. [...]

[...] So again: he does not have arthritis. [...] He has added a suggestion to that effect that is a good one.

(Pause at 11:36 PM.) He (Ruburt) is beginning to stand on his own two feet again, to accept his vision of the world and his own nature.

[...] Again, he is to walk some each day. [...]