“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Today he told me that he’d found out Jane was in a hospital from someone he writes to in one of the Carolinas, so he called our area hospitals until he learned which one Jane was in. [...] I don’t think he’ll call back, though he may. We ended up in a rather acrimonious conversation in which I hoped I’d alienated him enough so he’d not bother my wife or me.

(He had lots of energy, which I could sense, but seemed to me to be contradictory in many ways, and I took him up on several points. He seemed to be so taken with the Seth material that he’d stopped reading everything else, he said, yet when I said he shouldn’t do that, he said he read widely of other material — that sort of thing. I could tell he didn’t understand that to be a creative leader one didn’t follow others, but went out on his own. [...]

[...] He’d sent some home-canned jars of fruits and vegetables at Christmas time; for the past year he’d also written a string of long letters signed “me,” meaning I couldn’t answer him to say thanks for the stuff. He’d done the same thing the Christmas before last, also.

(With an early letter he’d sent some photos of himself, and asked that they be returned. [...] After that he quit adding his address to his letters. [...]

He thought of that term before our Framework 1 and 2 material, and his idea was that the impulses came from a part of the self that automatically knew the entire picture of the self’s environment and potentials. He was quite correct, for those impulses arise from the larger self’s immersion in Framework 2, and those impulses led Ruburt to his intuitive inspirations, experiences of psychic events, and to the books. When he becomes overly concerned about writing as work, or with psychic development as something he should do, then he tangles those impulses, and becomes worried that he will not be suitably inspired again.

To some extent he feels abandoned at such times. Oversoul Seven 2 began from inspiration, and whenever he turns back to the manuscript he is inspired again. He enjoys the book, yet it has become entangled with his ideas of work and publishing schedules.

He felt quite maligned earlier tonight, when you did not realize that he was not grunting with exertion as he walked to the bathroom several times today. [...]

[...] He paints as he writes, furiously involved, in bursts. The psychic experiences, intuitional developments, and dream activity—these refresh him and lead precisely to the kind of inspiration he wants. [...]

[...] (Pause.) The further agility and freedom he is allowing himself psychologically and psychically is now leading him to the greater physical agility he desires. The idea of strands of consciousness is important, for he can now choose strands. He is beginning to understand that bringing greater freedom to habitual physical thought patterns forms strands of consciousness that you can then follow.

[...] There is also a doctor, quite real; he is an image as yet unrecognized in Ruburt’s psyche, though he glimpsed him once. Yet he stands for a definite personality in ways I have not as yet explained.

He sees this. [...]

[...] He is open enough to receive concepts that will be important to his health, but his acquiescence was first necessary.

(Very long pause.) As his abilities grew, however, of course he sensed the outlines of other realities, the glimmerings of other worlds. He sensed these cousins of consciousness in one way or another—these environments that seemed real but not real, these further extensions of possible experience, and he decided that he must be very cautious: he must be prudent (long pause), he must take his time, he must range but carefully—and certainly to some extent such feelings cut down upon his spontaneity. [...]

[...] Ruburt carries his protection and safety wherever he goes. [...] Ruburt is safe wherever he goes. His psychological stance is honored wherever he goes. [...]

[...] So far in our discussion of his own situation, we have not for good reason touched upon certain material because he was not ready for it. [...]

[...] (Smile.) He did this years ago in effect, hence you passed him by, while recognizing his gesture and deciding against it. [...] He was afraid of his abilities and his burdens. He could not go along with them on his back. He was afraid they would drown him. He leaped into life, denying himself the use of his abilities because of the responsibilities they entailed, hence the separation.

This does not mean he is expected to pretend they do not exist, but he is to give a minimum amount of attention to them. [...] What he is doing now is correct. [...] He must avoid being overly concerned on a conscious level.

[...] He was so intent upon performing all given, either exercise or posture, that he became discouraged and pessimistic. The dancing, you see, he considers pleasurable. [...] He forgets himself, uses his body, and at least creates the climate in which muscular relaxation can occur.

In the same way that he has lately caught himself tensing his jaw, so has he tensed his neck and shoulder muscles for some time. We want him to be able to recognize tension in the shoulders, as he can now, but could not earlier, recognize the tension in the jaw.

[...] In your terms, over a period of time he pulled his awareness in, so to speak; he no longer identified as he did before, and began to view objects through the object of his own body. He no longer merged his awareness, so that he learned to look at a tree as one object, where before he would have joined with it, and perhaps viewed his own standing body from the tree’s vantage point. It was then that mental images became important in usual terms — for he had understood these before, but in a different way, from the inside out.

Now he began to draw and sketch, and to learn how to build images in the mind that were connected to real exterior objects in the presently accepted manner. Now he walked, not simply for pleasure, but to gain the information he wanted, to cross distances that before his consciousness had freely traveled. So he needed primitive maps and signs. Instead of using whole images he used partial ones, fragments of circles or lines, to represent natural objects.

(Long pause.) A person’s identity was private, in that man always knew who he was. He was so sure of his identity that he did not feel the need to protect it, so that he could expand his awareness in a way now quite foreign to you.

Initially language had nothing to do with words, and indeed verbal language emerged only when man had lost a portion of his love, forgotten some of his identification with nature, so that he no longer understood its voice to be his also. [...] He did not symbolically rage with the storms, for example, but quite consciously identified with them to such a degree that he and his tribesmen merged with the wind and lightning, and became a part of the storms’ forces. [...]

[...] He realizes you do not experience this, and does attempt to make adjustments on your behalf. He does this particularly since he realizes he cannot count upon his reactions. The next time out he might be willing to dance, and be relatively unable.

[...] He interprets this to mean that you want him to be spontaneous as long as it is acceptable, as long as he blends with others, as long as he does not go too far. He is obviously in not the best physical condition, so the spotlight to you involves the illumination of weakness obviously apparent.

[...] He has had several drinks before he reaches that point of deciding to dance, or to ask you to. [...] The spotlight serves as an impetus for him, and as an impediment to some extent for you—so he was trying to use the spotlight as an impetus for action precisely because he doubted his abilities. [...]

[...] Ruburt knows how much he could make if he wanted to through classes; and even in choosing to have only one per week, a choice is involved that earlier did not exist. [...]

He further unstructured, shaking up his consciousness by not sleeping. Clearly, he saw that he worked or slept, and allowed himself little freedom between. Lest he be tempted by his new house, he felt poorly, even for him, yet he saw through what he was doing, and he has begun an awakening of consciousness that is now in the process. [...] He awakened from the nightmare of immobility, and found himself on “the road to freedom” with you. [...]

[...] These slants fit in with his artistic purposes as he understood them. Because he considered himself a writer, and because he considered a writer something different from a woman, it was difficult for him to realize that he was both.

[...] He determined to use those abilities.

[...] Before, those found expression in his dealings with the outside world—but those dealings, he felt, were no longer necessary.

[...] He told me that something very strange had happened, and since he was still upset about it, he thought he’d discuss it with me. [...] Bill told me that exactly a week before he had been awakened suddenly. [...] He shook Bill’s shoulder and disappeared. [...]

[...] He told us he’d received a raise. With a comic shrug he left the amount up in the air. [...] Then Phil asked Seth if he knew anything about a voice that he’d heard in a local bar.

Seth admitted that he was the one who spoke to Phil. After our break he said, “The woman is grasping in a way that is disastrous to those with whom she comes in contact.” He added that the woman “would have used you as a buffer between herself and another male, and as a bargaining point, exaggerating your slightest interest. [...] Then he gave considerable background information, saying that the woman had a child and was involved with another man. [...] He also said that she was a Catholic, and that her problem concerned a legal paper.

[...] How could he record my perceptions when my consciousness was across the continent? [...] One thing I knew: He was pretty tricky—sending me “out” without my prior conscious knowledge of what he was planning. [...] (He’s a good psychologist, too!)

[...] The twin who was in the military found his sense of identity as a soldier within the system, but he had great faith in the system... in what he was doing... [...] and was in fact an orator although he had another profession...It included oration to people... [...] You sort of resented the fact that this twin brother of yours had this organization in which he found support and in which he felt so a part because he was absolutely certain of the aims and goals of the organization and he was a good soldier within it... and at that time you envied him that security and that sense of identity within the system in which he believed. [...]

[...] This would be his name, not the other twin; that is because he had this telepathic communication with his twin, he has this sense of wanting unity within himself very strongly, at the same time a sense of being divided. [...] His intellectual freedom, he feels, exists only so long as it is cushioned by the feeling of security of the organization... and if he cut loose he would be too panic-stricken to be an independent thinker leading to a dilemma...which you reached just after 30 in this life.... [...]

Oftentimes he was not sure what his next book would be, but overall he never doubted there would be a next book. He did not imagine impediments that might rise to prevent a next book being written—nor did he doubt his ability to write one, or any number of books. At times he might think of writing in one area or another, but his imagination did not set up barriers: it was always receptive to new ideas, casting about for new experiences, consciously involved in the process of creativity.

To Ruburt that is taken for granted—for there he operates extraordinarily well, mixing and merging the realities of Frameworks 1 and 2. The practical results of course appear in Framework 1, while the real creativity takes place in Framework 2. Understand that I make these divisions for simplicity’s sake, for the realities are merged. [...] In his books he lives in and with the present. Manuscripts that did not jell are simply forgotten, so he is supported in those terms by a background of success.

He felt that your needs and desires would be fairly reasonable; that is, he approved of them. He did not think you would suddenly become ostentatious, for example. [...]

Frank represents your belief that you must hold on to someone at least medically oriented, if unconventionally so, in Framework 1—a needed crutch, and he has been of some help. He has also however reinforced your conventional beliefs that muscles and joints must behave thus-and-so, that so much time must pass for such processes to take place; he helped you set up a situation that served handily, for you could not leave Framework 1, nor yet really accept wholeheartedly Framework 2.

Shortly after Ruburt began using the chair, for example, he decided that he would try to walk to the end of the living room. He had you put a pillow on a chair so he could rest there if he did not make it. He felt a sense of accomplishment, and some delight with himself when he walked to the end of the room and back without needing the chair. Spontaneously he began wanting to walk more, and again was quite pleased when he made the circle for the first time.

[...] He began to feel hopeless when he knew he needed more dental work, and became afraid he could not make it to the office. He looked too ungainly, he felt, besides, even if he could make it. He also began to worry about helping with “Unknown” at that time, and about Psyche.

Now yesterday Ruburt told Frank that he would see him every other week, and he told a white lie to cover the real reason. [...] On the same day he called your friend Peg, already wondering if he might have hurt Peg’s feelings the week before. He invited Peg and Bill for the evening, but Peg had made other plans. Ruburt felt he must have hurt Peg’s feelings, and this made him also feel somewhat abandoned, fearing that the friendship might simply lapse.

The next two days his hips were going through considerable changes and it hurt him, so he did not walk nearly as much, and you both became frightened—Ruburt more than you. Following this he instantly decided that he must walk considerably more—at least 3 or 4 times around the circle—and at the last count, once an hour whether or not he felt like it, and particularly when he did not feel like it.

He is not a creative writer, but a work-a-day one, whose creativity then seeks release. Personally, he has restrained his, say, flights of fancy while seeking them out in others, where they are less threatening. As a journalist he can say “Yes, these things happen, but they did not happen to me,” and therefore gain what he thinks of as critical distance.

[...] When Ruburt feels good by his standards, that is, in a good mood, relatively at peace, and in some kind of bodily ease, taking his situation into consideration, he should note that. I will help keep him from concentrating on the times when he does not feel that good. He should make an effort to forget his condition as much as possible, and so should you. [...]

[...] He uses the journalist framework to protect himself, and at the same time yearns to forsake it. For that reason he seldom finds a strong sense of stability within himself, for he is pulled from one direction to the other.

Using emotion from the present, let him now imagine the event only defiantly, saying to hell with the feelings he had at that time about the dumb psychologist. He gives his past self his current knowledge. [...]

[...] When I checked his home phone, Paul told me he’d taken the day off; he offered to look at Jane here at the house. When he’d done so later in the afternoon, he further offered to do the necessary work here at the house, saving Jane going to his office. [...] After he’d left, we could see that in actuality Paul’s visit had offered all that Jane could have desired, under the circumstances; we hadn’t asked for any of it, even his preliminary visit to the house to examine Jane this time—although he’d done that on a couple of previous occasions, again without being asked by us.

[...] He thinks he cannot change the world—but he can help the individual patient. He does have strong healing abilities. He is independently minded.

Now: Ruburt knew he had to have dental work. He wanted it done. [...] He did not, however, imagine himself, for example, falling, except I believe in one or two very brief thoughts. [...]

[...] You did remind him of the joy he used to take in that activity, however, and in an important way a conflict was resolved: he enjoys the dishes now, and he can say “Before I know it, I can enjoy it standing up also.”

He obtained a good sense of physical accomplishment this weekend, in the face of quite negative attitudes that he managed to encounter and deal with well. There is no reason why he cannot build up further accomplishments of the same kind. He knows when he has poor habits in that regard, but have him work with one, say, just one a week, rather than take on several at a time. [...]

He learned something important, working with his attitudes this weekend in the bathroom, when he realized that he held back his weight when he put his feet on the floor. [...]

Because he has not built up the good trust of his body, however, any new discomfort, regardless of origin, alarms him—an alarm that causes him to tense his muscles, withhold his weight, become hesitant—actions that of course themselves bring about stress, and prolong what should be a fairly minor adjustment. [...] Remember, he did not have your background of physical trust in the body. Whenever you can, again, honestly comment upon an improvement, now upon his appearance, or on a physical accomplishment, do so, for he needs the reinforcement there. [...]

Generally speaking, the process began when he had the impulses to walk unaided this autumn, and rightly followed through. Those notions, and that attempt, signaled that he wanted more activity, and the body began new work in that direction. [...]

(While Jane was delivering the material on Denmark and Triev, Bill said that he recalled quite vividly his experience with his “lost town” episode. [...] Out walking in the fields and woods just north of Elmira, he came upon an old-fashioned-looking town. It was quite small; he remembers a blacksmith shop and a few other buildings, and people in odd clothing. A few weeks later, attempting to return to this strange place, he could not find it. He never has found it, although at odd times he has attempted to over the years. It made such an impression on him that he never forgot it. He is now 25, and a school teacher. He first told Jane and me about his experience a year or so ago.

Obviously, to some degree he has been able to use his inner senses. However many of the fragmentary apparitions that he has seen, for he has actually seen more fragmentary apparitions than he realizes, many of these have been fragmentary through his own inability to organize the material from the inner senses.

His present mother was a wife to him when he was overly aggressive, and he chose to be born as her son in this existence in order to pay an old debt. He was unkind to her when she was a wife to him, and here we run into another case where the subconscious knows what it knows.

I did want to make one comment of a light nature, concerning Ruburt’s unbounded joy with the new clothing which he has recently acquired. He goes by spurts and starts; being masculine for so many lives, he sometimes is quite bewildered by this quite feminine flurry, and I find it quite amusing.

If he left himself alone work-wise there would be plenty of accomplishment, but he does not believe this. Of course he must make some demands of himself—reasonable ones. [...]

As he is feeding himself now, have him think of his thoughts as nourishment, so that he feeds himself constructive nourishing thoughts. He needs them. [...]

[...] He needs the reminder. [...] He also should be encouraged to feel his energy, and rouse it. When he demands it of himself it is always there. [...]

[...] His imagination can be given full rein, except that when he find himself using it negatively, he uses it as strongly in the opposite direction instead.

You had a brief life as twins—some definite clear-cut divisions within yourself, have to do with this life when you were one of two—one going one way, and one going the other—one twin had a strong leaning toward military things—a soldier—the organization of the church now serves the same purpose, I believe—security within the organization—the twin who was in the military found his sense of identity as a soldier within the system, but he had great faith in the system—in what he was doing—the other twin was more given to a statesman-like sort of thing—and was in fact an orator, although he had another profession—it included oration to people—the two of you had a very strong telepathic relationship—and this time the church has provided the same kind of organization—you sort of resented the fact that this twin brother of yours had this organization in which he found support and in which he felt so a part because he was absolutely certain of the aims and goals of the organization and he was a good soldier within it—and at that time you envied him that security and that sense of identity within the system in which he believed. [...]

Greek name—Ostinatious—I am getting also 12 BC—this would be his name, not the other twin, that is because he had this telepathic communication with his twin, he has this sense of wanting unity within himself very strongly, at the same time a sense of being divided. [...] His intellectual freedom, he feels, exists only so long as it is cushioned by the feeling of security of the organization—and if he cut loose he would be too panic-stricken to be an independent thinker, leading to a dilemma which you reached just after 30 in this life. [...]

When he is finished you see he will understand something extremely important for him, and experience a corresponding relief. For seeing that he creates his own reality now, he will understand that he also helped form the environment in which he grew, and that his mother was not entirely responsible.

[...] Ruburt for example has found out what certain mental patterns will do to his image, and he is now attempting to undo the damage that became apparent. Without the damage he would not have accepted the obvious truths. Now the sculptor does at times identify with his sculpt, but never entirely, and it will help him if he remembers that he did the damage, and therefore can undo it.

[...] Tell him that he has, or he is, learning a lesson in perspective, whether he knows it or not.

The despondencies that he encounters also should show him that these feelings emerge into his conscious awareness now, to be dealt with, where in the past they festered beneath consciousness, and he would not admit them as a problem for he was not that aware of their existence.

Largely, he has stopped projecting negatively into the future. There are a few lapses, but overall he is changing that habit—and the point of power has helped him considerably there. He is discussing his feelings openly with you. [...] He is quite importantly beginning to change the viewpoint from which he previously viewed his reality. [...]

He has not as yet changed his viewpoint to that of a normally flexible person, but it is vastly improved from the one he had only a short while ago. It is true that he is quite aware of his bodily conditions, and yet overall he is not concentrating upon them, or regarding them negatively. [...]

[...] It was natural enough that he has periods of disorientation walking—but overall he has handled this well. [...] There are other times when he definitely feels like putting his weight upon his legs, and walking, and he should be very faithful about following that impulse. [...]

[...] The creative artist can be in somewhat of a quandary, according to his beliefs, for he wants to preserve the precious moment, the fleeting thought, the daffodils, the perceived insights. At the same time he often feels the need to stand apart from life, from the fleeting thoughts, the daffodils or the insight, so that he will not be lost completely in the moment, but able to form almost a second self with a larger viewpoint, who can then more clearly examine and understand the thought, the moment, or the insight.