“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Subconsciously he feels that you are saying shut up, and this angers, humiliates and bewilders him. He struggles against such disclosures to begin with. [...] You can get him to talk about other matters by asking for example about what he has written for the day. The subject chosen by you must be one in which he is immensely interested however. He will understand that you are merely trying to redirect him, and will not feel that you are restraining his freedom to say what he wants to say. He will understand what you are doing, but that is all right. He knows the emotional situation with your mother, and will not object.

That he finally defended himself against her, defended himself against her emotionally and psychically, is all the more astounding. The main reason that he does not see her is not because he fears her, but because he fears the violence in himself that he has never dared direct toward her.

[...] Everyone else you see has a right to gripe, he feels subconsciously, but he cannot. He is terrified to do so. When he manages to do so he is jubilant out of all proportion. [...]

[...] Ruburt would not turn any destructive energy loose upon you, my dear friend, for he loves you too deeply. He is too mature now to turn such destructive energy inward in a strong manner, against his own organism. He would not willfully turn such energy loose even upon an animal.

He felt that the female was not temperamentally equipped to naturally handle such problems, and so adopted the symptoms. [...] He is by nature rather optimistic. From you he believed he learned that optimism was shallow, unrealistic, and that people were not to be trusted. He never believed in conflict. He is not abject, but he believes heartily in having nothing to do with an arena of activity in which he feels he might meet ridicule or criticism.

[...] You isolate yourself from people in a way that he does not. Since he is more emotionally outgoing and literal-minded, he cannot close himself off emotionally in that regard. In a way, he is not using discrimination. You use an emotional aloofness with the world, and he has become physically aloof instead.

Intellectually he accepts it, but emotionally he yearns for that direct expression. The child may think “My teeth are fine, why yell at me to brush them?” Ruburt thinks “What is there that allows you to speak your concern more actively than your love?” He is verbally oriented. Words have rhythm—emotional rhythms, to which he is acutely attuned. [...]

He reacts practically, then, by avoiding what he thinks of as conflict, and you do not help in that regard, for by temperament you are not particularly attracted to the world. He feels he is so attracted, temperamentally, and so puts on physical guards. [...]

Timothy Mossman was subconsciously aware that he would meet me when he read Ruburt’s manuscript. [...] Had he simply rejected the manuscript and not written the letter that he did, the meeting would not have taken place; and he knew this also.

He does have a purpose, that is one of several courses that he can follow, that will enable him to fulfill the purpose, which is his during this existence. He wanted to understand at one time the heredity of seeds and plants. Now he will work to understand the nature and makeup of those in quotes “unorthodox” seeds within mankind’s personality. He will learn to use his intellect as a fine tool, while his intuitions point to the proper direction.

[...] (Pause.) There are, as mentioned earlier, other roads that he could take. [...] He must escape his occasional glibness, for he could use it to fool himself and not use his full abilities.

Before, he was afraid to sense those changes in the atmosphere that he could sense so well. On occasion he would fabricate a physical symptom to explain a sudden change of mood, that was instead the result of clairvoyant knowledge.

He felt that he was at certain times caught between you and Prentice: more worried about dealing with your attitudes toward Prentice than he was about dealing with the situation itself, with Prentice. As he tried to comprehend it, he also felt that certain attitudes of yours toward the marketplace would spill over and threaten the unimpeded clear channel that he felt has been formed to convey his writing to the public realm. [...]

(With humor:) He realized that the channel had some muddy spots in it, some impediments, that it ran more clearly in some areas than others. He did not idealize the situation, in other words. The entire situation, however, bothered him deeply, since he felt of course a great sense of loyalty to you even when he did not share a your particular beliefs at any given point. (Long pause.) He also, as he stated, was afraid that your attitudes would splash over to color your feelings toward future Seth books, and toward your future contribution toward them. [...]

(9:00.) When he demands too much of himself, there is nowhere along the line where he can securely rest, pat himself on the back, and say “You have done a good job,” because what he has performed seems so inadequate in the light of what he feels is expected. [...]

This does not mean that at times he may not help others generate healing abilities within themselves, since he is indeed involved in those other patterns of action that interweave with all of life’s activities. He should not expect himself to perform as a professional healer, or be disappointed with himself if he does not. [...]

[...] He wanted to go out in order to show that his attitude had changed. [...] He felt like crying all of a sudden, and he mentioned that. He went to the bathroom, and as he did he knew at once that his bodily situation had changed. At that point he immediately took it for granted, with a rush of self-disapproval, that this was a sign that he had learned nothing, and that his body was objecting to the whole idea of going out, and therefore challenging him—in other words, that his negative beliefs had risen to challenge new healthier attitudes.

Ruburt does the steps, something he does not do inside—a change for the body, and a good one—but in his position an exercise in itself. Both of you even refuse to think of using the table in the garage, so Ruburt forces his body into the most unnatural of positions so that he can lean upon the car. [...] He made it to the car, knowing that on the other occasions that his body had so protested he had had difficulty. He used his resources to try to change the situation. He used suggestion. He tried to concentrate upon the ride.

It was obvious in the bathroom that his legs, which had been stable for several days, and showing improvements, were now trembling and insecure, but he interpreted that bodily message with self-disapproval, at the end of the hallway he had to sit down. You interpreted his situation precisely as he did, and for the same reasons, so of course there was no answer for this manufactured crisis, except that he ignore these bodily messages and act in spite of them.

[...] I do not blame you for wishing that Ruburt’s table were not necessary, but he is showing signs that he will be able to dispense with it. I do not blame you for wishing he did not need a stool at the sink, but that area has no conflict now, and Thursday he had an impulse to do the dishes without it. [...]

[...] I believe he will fall in with this idea easily. I want him to list his physical activities, so see how many new ones he can perform in a playful manner. These can be as simple activities or motions as he wants. He can pick any area he chooses, but he is to tell you about the accomplishments.

It is somewhat natural, now that he has determined to get better, that he become aware of his own evasive actions, as he has. He is not to let them concern him now. [...]

This can involve anything, and can start out at levels of achievement he knows he can reach, while gradually trying other levels. He knows for example, he can walk up—up, now—the first flight here from the landing, without as much difficulty as the other stairs.

He can begin by walking up that flight, seeing how many times he can do it without too much trouble, but paying no attention to the way he goes down, which has been much more difficult for him. [...]

[...] He has been painting lately, quite happily anticipating the next painting period, yet at the same time worried that he is not writing instead; or when he does write on Seven, he does so because he thinks he should. So he experiences a conflict. He did give in to the impulse to paint, however. [...] His nature knows he needs the variety—the creative variety.

[...] Since Ruburt’s nature was rather—rather—extravagantly different from what he considered the norm to be, and since he possessed abilities that were not common generally and specifically to his sex, he became even more unduly suspicious of his own nature. He believed then that he needed safeguards.

The visual activity itself stimulates different portions of the psyche, and allows mental concepts to be rearranged while he is thus occupied. New intuitional insights grow while he is not thinking in those terms, and if he trusted his nature more fully he could enjoy the painting more while also realizing that other levels of the self had their own reasons. [...]

Because of your age difference, Ruburt felt he had to catch up, and he became more conscious of clock time. [...] They were designed specifically for him and his nature, for when he forgets about work, with its connotations for him, then he is at his most intuitively creative, and inspiration springs naturally and quickly at his beckoning.

[...] He is—Baba—highly advanced indeed. He is a way, however; he is not the end. He is not completed. He is right, but he is wrong in taking pleasure in his rightness. [...] It ill-behooves me to speak.) Nevertheless he who is and knows that he is, is. He has no need for words and he has no need to proclaim himself, for he speaks without the necessity for words and he is heard. [...]

[...] He (referring to Baba) is not who he says he is; nevertheless he speaks the truth. He is a part of who he says he is, as indeed I am. [...] He is very easily startled.

He is who he says he is and yet he is not. [...]

To come if he is (he—a male) if he is connected with the project. [...]

[...] He was afraid of the cat, considering him wild and caged originally, as his mother had been in his interpretation, so he felt forced to help the cat (who did not have any love for him), as he felt before he had to help his mother—who would kill him if she had the chance.

[...] He, Rooney, and Ruburt passed symptoms back and forth. He was not a passive receptor however, the cat, and he even learned from his encounters with Jack Wall. [...] (Very important.) Rooney however is free of a distrust that he had carried with him, having to do with his background in that house, this time, across the way, and was grateful for those additional years you gave him.

[...] He got in scrapes as Ruburt’s father did in bars. [...] He was willing however to trade these for several years of additional physical life, in which he also learned for the first time to relate to gentleness; even to be on terms with another cat, and Willy in his way served as a mentor.

[...] Remind him of the ways he has used his body well, and help him change his beliefs about it. Any physical gain, as badminton, physical achievement, should be stressed, and the movement that he does have encouraged.

When he is at work he thinks “This is not me, this is not myself.” [...] When our friend Philip sells he is thinking “This is me. [...] But he believes in what he is selling.

Philip should not stray from the medical field, although for various reasons he would not function well as a physician. He will always be able to deal with physicians however, to his advantage and theirs. If he puts his efforts into the company, and his energy, he can go as far within it as he desires.

He is, in a more basic manner than he may realize, deeply committed here. He is quite content with his ability to affect the minds of others. Our other friend, to the contrary, is afraid of this ability, and distrusts it, and is not at all committed to the product that he sells.

For when your other friend is relating to the exterior environment, he does something that Philip does not do. He closes himself off entirely, as much as possible, from the inside environment. [...] He can relate to the inner self or the outer self, but he has not learned to unite the two, nor allowed for any understanding or communication between them.

Because at the time, in those days, particularly consciously, he would not permit himself to. He was not sure enough. He was working on hunches, to him, and he always followed whatever suggestions you made. He had his own background also, and he was afraid of being successful. [...]

He is, as you know, more than usually or normally attentive and sensitive to your remarks. He has always been much more concerned about financial affairs than you realize. [...] But I tell you that in each of these cases he was attempting to offset your negative attitude, and to use his abilities in the way he intuitively realized he could, to help matters.

[...] Or he would not have any students left. [...] He does indeed have the ability to attract money, though in the past he was not able to use this ability. He is only now learning to do so, and free enough to do so. [...]

[...] He did not realize consciously what he was doing, but was strongly impelled to take the stand that he did, and outraged subconsciously that you did not understand why he took it.

[...] John is from Williamsport, PA; he is a salesman for Searle Drug and has witnessed quiet a few sessions. He has also been the subject of some of Seth’s material. Jane, incidentally, felt strongly that John would witness the session, so she was not surprised when he visited us unannounced at 8:30 PM. John told us he could stay only until 10 PM. In the meantime he had a little story to tell us.

(But he did drive home. As he walked out to his mailbox he felt certain the letter was there. It was; it did confirm that he had been given a raise by the company. The raise was totally unexpected, he told us. [...]

[...] He had decided to see if he could postpone his business appointment until tomorrow. Before he left however, he described to Jane and me a plan that he had broached to his brothers and sisters, concerning the care of his invalid mother in Philadelphia. [...]

[...] He heard both mentioned in a general way during his conversation with the woman, and cannot recall more details at the moment. He had not told us this consciously. John said another man was with the woman when he talked to her, and that actually he spent as much time talking with her male companion as he did the woman. [...]

He can now use that energy in normal physical motion. He has only to realize that he can, so help encourage him in aggressively going outward. There will now be a synthesis of dream and waking activity, and a greater physical release, but he must also work through his beliefs on Rich Bed and the material begun today. You can help him, but he must do the work. He must feel free to let himself go free of limiting concepts, but he must see, the self that he is now, that certain ideas that he considered important and basic collected limitations about them. He must work through the feelings and beliefs and today was an important breakthrough.

Yes, have him read to you again what he wrote today, and discuss it.

The fact is, however, that he is himself a different kind of person. [...] He at least could do those at home. He did not want (underlined) particularly to do any of them, though he enjoyed most of them once he began. What he enjoyed, however, was the radio’s fairly secret quality—the fact that he was hidden, and yet his voice went out into the world. [...]

He writes because he wants to create a unique world, one in which during the act of creation as a creator he is in charge, and yet while he is in charge he is in contact with a certain magic of creativity that gives him experience with greater realms of being. [...]

As he began to understand to some degree that he need not be expected to do tours and so forth, he thought of the radio shows as alternate ways of fulfilling his responsibility. [...] It is also true, however, that his hands and arms became more aggravated in their condition precisely because he did not want to be able to hold the phone to do an hour show. In response, he thought about a gadget that would automatically allow him to speak without holding the phone for so long—this in response to Prentice’s latest project. [...]

[...] In Ruburt’s case the idea of responsibility became far more pervasive, resulting in what I have referred to as being almost a superself image—an image composed of his ideas of the kind of person he should (underlined) be in his position. [...] He felt he should do many things, for example, that he did not really like to do at all. [...]

(During that session Seth gave Don Wilbur a little information concerning a job change he was contemplating. [...] It amounted to perhaps a medium-long paragraph, and included a description of a building he would visit, its offices, and a man to whom he would apply for employment. [...] Don never did see about the job he was thinking of, in December, because his present employment kept him too busy during the winter months. He and his wife lost track of the notes, and Jane and I had forgotten them long ago.

[...] Answering an ad in the local paper, he drove to the location given for a construction firm. He had forgotten consciously about Seth’s data, but as he drove into the firm’s property he was immediately struck by the similarity there with Seth’s predictions. He had not been to the location before. [...]

[...] He did say that Don would leave his present job because it offered no opportunities for advancement, and that he would try three other positions before he settled into one he really liked. [...] The place he visited that matched Seth’s description has made him an offer of employment.

(Seth went on to explain that with the exception of me everyone else in the room, including Jane, still had doubts as to what he was, that I accepted his explanation of his personality, and that this was a help in the sessions. [...] Seth told us he knew how “their minds worked,” and that when they thought they had him pinned down as a secondary, he would have a surprise for them, a demonstration. He did not go into detail here and I did not press for particulars because I was not making notes. [...]

[...] He knows the books will bring added financial success, and that ad campaigns, etc., will come. This does not mean he is not annoyed on occasion, for he is, but overall he is in that regard certain.

The symptoms also cut down distractions to insure that he did work while at home. He was trying to show you that it could be done. Unfortunately in some respects certainly he went overboard, so that the symptoms served to cut out anything he felt might be threatening to his work and to your situation.

A child might result in your working out full time, in which case you would never, he felt, develop as an artist. [...] The isolation he felt you needed would be given you. [...] He tried to keep you from family connections and complications for what he thought was your own good.

[...] These were apparent also because at the same time he had begun going out more, giving in some to previously denied impulses, and putting himself in positions that he had not before. He was, in a small period of time, encountering his beliefs in reality as he knows it, therefore.

(10:36.) A note to Frank Longwell, by the way—that all in all he is handling the events of his life well at this time. It will help if he trusts that such is the case, so that self-doubts are minimized. It will also help if he remembers what he likes to do and enjoys doing, as opposed to what he thinks he should do in the line of business. [...]

[...] (Long pause.) He was a person taught to believe that expression was somehow wrong. Despite that he became an excellent writer. He uses expression constantly. He expected himself to be a public personality—that is, he felt the responsibility to be one, as if that had always been a goal, when of course it had not been. [...]

The entire Sinful-Self syndrome should remind him of his own personal background, so that he can see the growth of his personality, for in the large he has of course grown out of that framework. If he had not, he would not have done any of his creative work, and in the light of his background his achievements become even more outstanding. [...]

(Long pause at 9:58.) He had been shy with people, shy about reading his own poetry, though determined to do so, yet he felt that he should become this public personality, or to perform. [...]

Though he does not understand what he does, he is learning control at other layers of consciousness, and he will be able to utilize his abilities far better in our sessions and in other experiments. In other words, various types of such experiences, within reason, are highly beneficial, for he learns from them.

[...] As I told you, I was present, though in the background; Ruburt’s tutor—and it was I—who showed him how to return when he felt it desirable. (Very humorously, eyes open:) He needs a guide. Often when he supposes he is out by himself, or working alone, I am there to keep an eye on him.

[...] (Smile.) Sometimes I give him a nudge in the proper direction, when he thinks he is on his own. Then I let him alone, and see if he can tell by himself when he makes an error, for it is this inner manipulation that we are interested in perfecting. [...]

In the episode with the Craigs, (see the 447th session) he was freely roaming the fields of their experience, and did quite well. [...] Later this will grow so that he will be able to tell when he is hot or cold.

[...] He would go so far, throw out test balloons, and meet with your disapproval. [...] You were both happy when he showed some improvement, because neither of you wanted physical disability carried too far, but as soon as he showed signs of being free enough so that he could really take a trip, or dance, you both clamped down. He always waited to see what you would do, and these episodes, again, occurred after enough improvement, so that first he wanted to go out. Sometimes he forced himself to, thinking he was denying you the pleasure of your bars and outings. But despite what you said, he saw that you did indeed disapprove.

He, when he had reached the point where he will go out again, is by then defiant, angry, joyous and exultant by turns. Each dance is a victory because he first had to get over the fear of walking to the dance floor, and he looks hopefully to you for your support that he does not look too badly. He yearns for any sign of your approval, and sexual recognition.

After vocally and otherwise objecting for a good eight years, he stopped outwardly objecting. For one thing, he began to agree with you. For another, he was too “proud” to be so humiliated. Did he spontaneously want company, he felt this deeply disloyal to you. He began to discipline himself more and more, trying to fit your image to himself. [...]

After not going out for a while the fear would reassert itself, of looking ridiculous and facing people, so there would a time until he again became defiant and conquered it. [...] He saw, the day that you slept (last Saturday, January 26) that he is always afraid of his performance in your eyes—that he gets up more often when you are not watching. [...]

The development of Ruburt’s abilities would, therefore, lead him away from comforting structures, while in the meantime he searched for others to sustain him. There is no reason for him to feel stupid or inferior because he chose a challenge for himself that few would take. He has put to the test much of what he has learned. [...]

[...] At the same time he did not realize how all-pervasive was the belief that the self could not be trusted. He saw it in others, and tried to combat it and help them. The belief prevented him from following through, so that the symptoms became a symbol, in a way, because he still did not trust himself sufficiently. [...] He was quite correct in his written statement concerning the development of consciousness.

There were frameworks that could have offered help, but he saw that they were not intrinsically valid and so did not depend upon them. [...] He was afraid of using his own power completely for that reason; and then he became afraid that it would not work if he did.

He has been testing out our information in the world that he knows. He felt it necessary to do so because how could the self, unsure of itself, taught that it was bad, bring forth good?