“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(At 10 PM I asked Jane if she felt like having a session. We’d been visited today by Loren, Betts and Doug, and Dick, Ida and David, and at times my left groin area had bothered me considerably. Now after everyone had gone—Dick and family stayed until about 8 PM—I felt poorly indeed. As I had last spring, I didn’t know whether my symptoms of unease were physical or mental, and was very concerned. I thought of a hernia—and Loren had been operated on for a hernia this summer—yet I suspected the unease was basically mental. This had been the case last spring. And now, those feelings had returned. Try as I might, I couldn’t find the proper adjective to describe the groin sensations; they weren’t ones of pain—but what?

(One final note: At the beginning of this session I wrote that I had trouble describing the very uncomfortable sensation in my left groin—that it wasn’t pain. but what? I felt much better by the end of the session; remarkably so, so Seth’s material was on the mark. Then in the bathroom it came to me as we prepared to retire: the feeling in the groin was like a knot—and my realization had been triggered by Seth’s remark about tension I had created in that area. In a flash the understanding led me to a very obvious conclusion that, it seems I should have reached on my own earlier: the knotty feeling was very much like the muscle spasms I’d experienced in the back, years ago when we’d lived on West Water St. These had been so bad that I’d lost months of work; the sessions had begun as Jane tried to help me, as well as for her own needs, in 1963.

(Today as the family members talked and took photographs and watched television and ate. and so forth, I felt the discomfort in the left groin sweep over me in waves. Twice I went off to use the pendulum. Each time it helped, temporarily. I thought of asking Jane for help, but disliked doing so because I could see that she was doing very well. I didn’t want to introduce negative elements into the day, especially so since her performance was much better than it had been last year when everyone had gotten together. [After that gathering she’s had strong upsets of her own.]

(“The only thing I might have asked,” I said, after having had a few moments to think it over, “was why I would choose to pick on myself here.” I pointed to my left groin. “I know that in those earlier sessions Seth said I equated the left side with the unconscious portions of the personality and the masculine role in society [see the deleted sessions for April 4 and 16, 1979], but—”

(Before the session I burdened Jane again with my hassles about my side and groin. [...]

6. Note: Insight received at 10:15 PM: The feelings in the groin of “having to go” all the time, are nervous interpretations on my part of the urge “to go” ahead creatively in whatever way is chosen....)

Forgot: during night my stomach muscles right side lower suddenly relaxed & felt fantastic—I didn’t realize they weren’t relaxed before—then left side of my groin itched & all the flesh went soft & relaxed (and sort of flabby).

[...] She could even feel the effects of the motions in her groin. [...]

[...] When she began moving her left foot again, she could feel the motion travel up her leg, through the knee, into the hip and the groin, then on toward the shoulder on that side of her body. [...]

(“The pendulum insists there’s nothing wrong physically in the side-groin area, but I’m beginning to wonder. [...]

(“The trouble appears to be in the lower left groin or side, with ramifications at times in the left testicle. [...]

(“The pendulum repeated my insight of a couple of days ago—one that may be very important: that all of my upsets over the years, the stomach, the side, the groin, the shoulder—the whole bunch—stem from my consistent feeling that I’m a failure in life, that I don’t contribute enough, that I don’t help Jane enough, that I haven’t really made it as an artist or as a writer.

(I’d asked Jane today if Seth could discuss briefly two subjects in the session this evening: My recent hassles with the discomfort in my side and groin, and Jane’s right hand. [...]

[...] At 8:15 PM my stomach bothers a bit, but the left side has subsided to vague feelings of discomfort in the groin and testicle. [...]

(1. My side/groin area bothers because I’m afraid it’ll cost money to get sick. [...]

[...] Jane’s left leg moved back and forth sideways, opening up at the groin. [...]

[...] I felt her right leg; the whole thing was tense and hard, from close to the groin on down. [...]

[...] The discomfort in the groin/testicle area is much less, at times absent altogether, and I believe that my steady rereading of Seth’s recent private material for me has helped a great deal here. [...]

[...] I’m terribly concerned at the stress involved in her holding the right leg so doubled up against her groin. [...]

[...] My stomach still bothers, but on a much-reduced level; the groin/left testicle seems all but clear at times; occasionally the discomfort returns on a reduced basis also.

[...] A number of those deal with my challenges involving the side, groin, taxes, and so forth. [...]

(My own hassles with my side, groin and scrotum are the usual ones I’ve had at times before—especially last year at this time. [...]

[...] Her backside was sore, as well as her hips and inner thighs at the groin; she couldn’t move forward easily. [...]

[...] My own insights through the pendulum tell me, for example, why Seth in that last private session said I have a “nervous stomach,” but nothing about the other hassles like, say, the side or groin. [...]