“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Want to make a note also about feelings on awakening from nap—tho I don’t recall them too clearly. The idea was that my belief in an extraordinary or supernatural force, working through nature, sustained me as a child. When I saw through the conventions and dogmas of the church, I threw the whole idea overboard. In a way later, I “put my faith” in Rob as being older, wiser, and so forth, and idealized him. Then, discovering that he was, after all, fallible, I felt betrayed; and worse I felt for some periods that he rejected me. This was years ago. But I no longer felt as I did as a child, that the universe was well-intended or cared for me particularly; and looking about the world saw personal threats. I kept searching through my work...disliking organized religions with their distortions and suspecting the “supernatural” that went along with it. During this entire period, I developed a way of retreating from the world — habits of thought and action. People who profess belief in God often are so... mean-minded, fanatical... that I threw the belief out the window. All I can say is— what would they be like if they didn’t... “believe in God?” I considered prayer embarrassing, demeaning... I think Rob considers it embarrassing—but I don’t KNOW that he does.

[...] At Ruburt’s last visit to your dentist, both of you decided that his position was embarrassing, that it put you both in a bad light, that his condition spoke of invisible defects. [...] You were embarrassed in the street. [...]

[...] Ruburt felt he could not go out again until he could do so without embarrassing himself or you, and until he walked normally. [...]

[...] You felt too sorry for him, and yet angry and embarrassed, and all of that was caused by concentrating upon the problem, projecting it in the future, in the definite belief, for all I have said, that that method of problem-solving works.

Naturally, left alone, men and women would cry without embarrassment, for crying would have no connotations of defeat, any more than the sky is embarrassed when it rains. [...]

1. I don’t have to be embarrassed that Seth gives so many sessions for me; plenty of people go to doctors or therapists all their lives and this is at a much more complex level. [...]

[...] On awakening could feel my eyes were bugging out and vision blurred some; Pat and Carroll came; I’m embarrassed to be seen walking as I do—worse Carroll comments on my eyes—throat—I’m mad at me and at her; instant poor mood, worry about eyes again—think worse things—make an effort to trust the physician within; tell myself to ignore negative suggestions—then return to natural data. [...]

(Omitted from the regular session copy to avoid any possible embarrassment to the Wilburs, Marilyn and Don, of Wellsburg, NY.

[...] I begin to mimic him then realize that she is the one who is doing this, and talking about Untermeyer, not I, and I become confused and embarrassed and excuse myself for butting in.

Our cat lover is embarrassed when he looks at me.

He is so busy looking that he is hardly embarrassed.

([Peggy:] “I don’t think embarrassed is the right word.”)

[...] It can never embarrass you. [...]

Your joint ideas of the ideal, its expression, and feared closure, was in the past also largely responsible for your joint embarrassment over Ruburt’s physical condition, your joint shame over his appearance.

(In the deleted session for April 16, 1979 Seth remarked that Jane “used to feel embarrassed because he made more money in those terms than you, and certainly this played some role initially in the symptoms.” [...]

(I didn’t want Seth to leave before I asked this question: “Do you want to say something about your remark that Jane’s early symptoms were at least partly connected with her embarrassment at making more money than I did?”)

[...] They become embarrassed in late boyhood when kissed by their mothers, as a rule — yet it is quite natural to be both independent and dependent, cooperative and competitive.

Many of the students are embarrassed by Larry’s behavior, and his piercing laugh, but Ruburt recognizes the energy involved. [...]

[...] I wasn’t angry with her or anything at all, but somewhat embarrassed for her in front of Gallaghers; but I wasn’t particularly amused either. [...]

[...] If it had been all wrong I would have been too embarrassed; and felt like an idiot I suppose—though again this is not the right attitude either—too far in the other direction.

I have to admit that I am touched and embarrassed, because Rob and I have always made it on our own until now. [...]

[...] I regret causing you any embarrassment, Joseph, despite my humorous remarks to the contrary, and I bid you a fond good evening.

(The loud voice during the unscheduled session last night did embarrass me at times.

[...] There is behind it all also, a great embarrassment that you must share such a sensation with others, if you experienced it within marriage—it is expected within marriage—people looking at you, in other words, if you are married can say that you do it.

[...] Certain portions of your personality were even embarrassed. [...]

[...] I should think that with your educations you should have known this yourselves, and I am quite honestly embarrassed for having to tell you this.

[...] Too much spontaneity at worst could only cause some embarrassing moments. [...]

[...] The pointer’s loss however was quite embarrassing because the board did not belong to us, but to our landlord, James Spaziani. [...]

[...] We didn’t find it and all three of us ended up embarrassed. [...]