“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

[...] Oddly enough, the break didn’t bother Jane, since a pillow was used beneath the leg as a cushion—but, Jane said, her feet did, so she didn’t stay in that position for more than fifteen minutes. [...]

[...] I didn’t know whether to rip them off or not [I did take the one off the elbow later in the afternoon]. [...]

[...] She didn’t do too well, although she improved on yesterday’s efforts. [...]

[...] She said she didn’t try to do much in hydro because of the water: “I guess that’s just the way different people do it.” [...]

(Jane didn’t think the sessions could hurt her, though she often felt she didn’t get enough information through for herself. [...] I explained my position that she didn’t need to make bargains with herself, as she used to tell me she did — that it was perfectly okay to be healthy and talented at the same time, using one’s abilities as one chose. The world wasn’t going to pass any sort of judgment if she didn’t choose to deal with the sick.

[...] “If you didn’t watch yourself,” Jane said, “you could get hurt yourself or hurt other people.”

[...] Jane basically didn’t want anything to do with sick people — was afraid she could hurt them in sessions.

(Whereupon I reminded her that she didn’t have to use anything, as per the session for February 1 that I’d read her today. [...] How cruel we could be to ourselves, I thought, and this reminded me of my old questions about why the body consciousness itself didn’t just rebel at times and refuse to let itself be so beaten down by erroneous beliefs. [...]

(Jane didn’t call last night to give me a progress report on the new motions she was enjoying when I left yesterday. [...]

[...] Nor had I written it up in my notes for the one day recently when Jane didn’t have a session — the 13th, I found out when I got home.

[...] The implications took my breath away, and I became depressed with thoughts that I didn’t see how she was ever going to make it, ever going to break that cycle of fearful response to the world and her place in it, her fear of being attacked, of life itself. [...]

[...] Obviously, it didn’t work right the first two times—just before lunch at about 1:50, then after lunch at about 2:30. [...]

(Jane tried to read the session from the day before, but didn’t do well. [...]

[...] When I got up at 6:15, with the dream still on my mind, I thought at first that it might have reincarnational overtones, yet I didn’t really think so. [...]

(Jane didn’t go to hydro this morning, since the tank broke down. [...]

[...] It was harder for me to tell him than I thought it would be, since I didn’t want to hurt anyone, etc. [...] I said that I didn’t want the extra stress involved with the tape deal, that we’d dealt with our publisher for many years, and that I didn’t look forward to being in an adversarial position vis-à-vis them. [...]

[...] She didn’t read well today, though, but got through the session finally. [...]

[...] I talked to Luke on the phone—at first, I could tell, he didn’t know who I was. [...]

[...] “Not bad, huh?” I told Pete about the prospective evaluation by the people from the infirmary a block away, and mentioned to him that Jane didn’t want to be moved. [...]

[...] Jane looked in the mirror and didn’t agree, although she did admit that her hair wasn’t white, but gray and white. [...]

(Jane, with Carla’s help, tried to call me twice last night, but I didn’t get back to the house from John Bumbalo’s until about midnight. [...]

[...] She had a smoke while I tried to concentrate upon mail, but I didn’t do well. [...]

[...] She had company so I didn’t stop.

[...] I didn’t like either name too well, so we used to joke about them. We didn’t have time to say much, however, because Seth came back in about ten minutes. [...]

[...] I didn’t believe in gods or demons, so I didn’t fear them. [...]

[...] Since I didn’t have one, I substituted a lovely blue bottle which was filled with water and into which I stared intently for a good half hour. [...]

[...] I didn’t feel physical enough to move.

(To me, at least the checked-out information in the first part was excellent; the correct town and state, initials, the point about the second child—Barb just said yes, yes; but didn’t explain; and there was something else. We didn’t check out the information I gave during the second, more emotional part of the trance. [...]

(I don’t believe the performance would have taken place either if I didn’t feel basically protected—with Rob of course; and also knowing I would trust the Gallaghers implicitly. At the end I was inside an emotion; I didn’t feel “possessed” by Barb for instance or taken over by another; but I did feel and was immersed in an emotion not my own, and a very unpleasant frightening one for which I wasn’t prepared—again, at least consciously.

[...] Rob shook his head and I didn’t particularly want to get involved anyway so I said no mentally. [...]

[...] I mentioned Greenwich, Connecticut; I didn’t even know there was a Greenwich, in Connecticut, though I am familiar with Greenwich, NY, and it seems to me I thought there was one in Vermont. [...]

[...] (It was Seth, incidentally, who suggested we take a five-to-ten-minute break every half hour or so.) Rob and I didn’t know what to make of this session. [...] For another, we didn’t know how to evaluate what was said.

[...] He didn’t know shorthand or speedwriting, so he took everything down in longhand and then typed it up the following day. [...]

Later Rob told me that he had all kinds of questions, but he didn’t want to interrupt, and his hand was already tired from taking notes. [...]

[...] The doctor didn’t know what was wrong with his back and suggested that he spend some time under traction in the hospital. [...]

[...] to car—(didn’t walk otherwise—except the usual.)

I didn’t hold on stuff quite as much & walked a trifle easier.

[...] Jane didn’t say anything. [...] Steve was also talking about the phases of the moon having influence on his behavior and actions, Jane said she didn’t believe in that. [...]

[...] I didn’t note it in my dream account earlier here, but I’d described to Jane how I’d asked whoever owned 458 W. Water Street these days how much our rent would be. [...] Seth hadn’t commented, and I didn’t ask him.)

(Carla interrupted our conversation to check Jane’s vitals — temperature 98.4. During our talk I noticed that it didn’t take my wife long to begin reacting emotionally to my questions, which I thought were innocent enough — but it was apparent that the subject matter of our conversation had an emotional charge for her. [...]

[...] “I’ll start to do something, then I’ll find myself thinking that I’ve already done it—but that means that I’ve dozed off in the meantime, and didn’t do it at all....”

(At first Jane didn’t know what she wanted to—or could—do. [...]

[...] I also tried to keep in mind Seth’s recent reference to her own natural rhythms, thinking that if she didn’t want sessions just now, that might actually be part of the healing process.

[...] I didn’t really think so while granting the possibility, for Jane also dozed in the mornings and on weekends when no nurses were present, and I changed her dressings on weekends within 20 minutes, so there was little strain involved there.

[...] Didn’t walk around per instructions though did move about, etc. [...] A bit faster and didn’t hold on things quite as much. [...]

[...] “I didn’t know what the hell I was doing,” she said again. [...]

[...] The knee didn’t open more, though. [...]

[...] The whole leg moved up and down, though the knee didn’t flex. [...]

[...] Seth didn’t return. [...]

[...] I had to shovel the driveway — about four inches of snow — since snow had fallen most of the day, and I didn’t want a mess out there today. [...]

[...] I made an attempt to answer the mail, but didn’t do well. [...]

[...] I told her that Seth didn’t go into our questions about his material in yesterday’s session, concerning changing the past from the present, nor did he comment on Carol Steiner’s Ph.D. thesis on the Seth material. [...]

[...] I’m afraid the talk didn’t make her feel any better. [...]

[...] Every so often they came closer, but didn’t interfere. [...]

[...] They had taken her temperature this morning, and it had been 100.1. I asked her why it was up again, but she didn’t know. [...]

[...] She showed no signs of wanting to, though, so I didn’t press the idea on her. [...]

[...] “Oh Jesus,” Jane muttered, but said little else, beyond saying that she didn’t want antibiotics. [...]

[...] I didn’t have to take everything Seth said on faith alone. [...] If I could leave my body and go out into the physical world, then I didn’t see why I couldn’t leave it and explore the inner one.

[...] So I didn’t feel like going into a trance.

Actually we didn’t get up to see her for some time. [...]

[...] “Oh, didn’t you know?” she said. [...]

(I didn’t say so because the time was speeding past and I felt dead tired myself, but the session seemed to offer some glimmers of hope. Earlier today Jane had remarked several times that on April 20th she’ll have been in the hospital a year, and she didn’t see how she was ever going to get out.

(Jane didn’t call last night. [...]

[...] She didn’t know whether she could have the session, or dredge up anything that might help.

[...] If it didn’t it would die. [...]

I was unhappy with the reincarnational material simply because I still didn’t want to accept the idea—it just seemed too far out. I didn’t exactly encourage Rob to ask Seth to enlarge on this information or to fill in on the details he’d given. [...]

[...] When we moved in to our present apartment, the kitchen held a stove and a small refrigerator that didn’t begin to hold all our food. We got a larger one for foods that we didn’t use every day, and this second refrigerator I put in our huge bathroom, a great old-fashioned tiled room that’s easily five times as large as the kitchen. [...]

[...] I followed his advice, though I didn’t really think there would be much response in this area. Seth was correct: I’ve enjoyed the classes, learned a great deal from them, and enlarged my own abilities as a result, in ways I didn’t know were possible.

[...] Even so, Seth said that my strong ego was an asset to our work when I didn’t overdo it, since it kept my whole personality on an even keel and allowed me the psychological strength to handle and develop my abilities.

(4:32 p.m. I told Jane that I didn’t know whether or not I’d get involved in a controversy over the Bantam cover. I didn’t even want to spend time thinking about it, especially in light of yesterday’s session.

(I told Jane that I didn’t think I’d figured out very much of it, beyond that I seemed to be remaking the past, and that all of the figures in it except her seemed to be figures of authority from that past. [...]

[...] Jane began reading yesterday’s session, which I think is an excellent one, but she didn’t do well at all. [...]

(Now Seth came through with a sentence I didn’t think was correct:)