“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(This morning I received a very upsetting phone call from Jeff Karder. He too is upset that Jane is obviously much more uncomfortable these days than she used to be — than two months ago, say. He doesn’t want her to suffer. Jeff doesn’t suggest antibiotics at this time, but told me that the ulcers on Jane’s right knee and left hand won’t heal themselves, and that the new swelling on the top of her right shoulder may turn into another such area. [It didn’t.] Jane has a traveling infection, he believes, and he hopes it doesn’t get into her bloodstream. I’ve suspected the same thing. Jeff said an operation would be needed on the knee to correct the condition.

(I was also angry that Jane hadn’t allowed anything to come through in sessions about herself for some time. I think this means that her sinful self, or whatever, has once again clamped down. It doesn’t want her to recover. The great question, then, is why those portions of the self would — and do — continue their terribly destructive ways, even to the point of bringing about their own death — for if allowed to, I think, death would be the end result, the final step along their chosen path.

(During our talk I’d cited a long list of things that in my view Jane has given up over the years, at the never-satisfied behest of portions of the personality that were now in complete control. It’s all gone now except for her lying in bed, and she can’t even do that in peace these days. She’d even given up all reading, even with the new glasses we so eagerly sought from Jim Baker. The supporting easel I’d made for her to use in reading, sits in the closet of 330. Jane used it just once. She said she doesn’t use it or do any reading because of the longer sessions.