“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(After lunch today, I showed Jane the last two poems she’s dictated at the hospital — those for July 25 and July 27. Then a little later she told me to turn down the TV and get out my pad. She dictated another.

meant for me alone.

waiting just for me.

waiting for me where

(Jane said she didn’t want to hear it when I asked her if she wanted me to read it back to her. I told her I liked it, but in retrospect I see that it’s content is far more revealing than I’d first realized. I believe it literally deals with Jane’s questioning over whether to live or die.

(I should add that after reading her the poetry and her new dictation, I read her the last three sessions for Seth’s The Way Toward Health, given on June 24, 26, and 27. Jane didn’t ask for these, but left it up to me to pick out something to read.

(“I know you’ve been thinking it over, whether you want to live or die,” I said. “Ever since you stopped eating, around July 4. It’s been obvious to me.”

(And so there it is. Carla called for Jane at 9:15, as I was typing this material. She told me that Jane loved me, and that she was having “a better night.” I asked Carla to give Jane my love. And the fact that my wife is having a better night may mean something, or not … I’d told her this afternoon that I’d been prepared to receive a call from the hospital at any time, telling me to get my ass down there because my wife was failing and the end was near. And Jane smiled and said that she’d been tempted many a time to have me called to come see her, especially late at night.

(I love you, Jane, and don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I feel like the latter. I wish you the best, whether you leave or stay. Today’s session says it all, I guess, for it means that better things lie ahead for you — and me — and if that’s the case, what have we got to worry about?