“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

JULY 30, 1984
4:04 P.M. MONDAY

(After lunch today, I showed Jane the last two poems she’s dictated at the hospital — those for July 25 and July 27. Then a little later she told me to turn down the TV and get out my pad. She dictated another.

(“I know you’ve been thinking it over, whether you want to live or die,” I said. “Ever since you stopped eating, around July 4. It’s been obvious to me.”

(Jane ate a little of several things for supper — about as she’s been doing the last few days. This is actually an improvement for her, for since around July 4 she hasn’t taken in any solid food with very few exceptions — and then only a crust, one might say. After watching her behavior as the month passed, I could see that she was indeed starving herself, and would die if she kept it up. She’s lost a great deal of weight; her arms look skeletal — so do her legs to a lesser degree.

(After supper, I learned several things. Jane had been told by the nurses a few days ago that she could have morphine whenever she wanted it; it’s given by injection. She also said that yesterday she resumed taking her thyroid medication, which she’d stopped taking July 4 — the day of that last little session. She also revealed that she hasn’t gone to hydro for three days, and will have to give in and go; she was trying to avoid more pain.