“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Jane said she didn’t want to hear it when I asked her if she wanted me to read it back to her. I told her I liked it, but in retrospect I see that it’s content is far more revealing than I’d first realized. I believe it literally deals with Jane’s questioning over whether to live or die.

(Rather than go into more detail here, I’ll move to the session, which Jane began quite a bit later. I was surprised that she said she’d have one: “I don’t know whether I can do this, Bob, or how far I’ll get, but I’m going to try …”

(I should add that after reading her the poetry and her new dictation, I read her the last three sessions for Seth’s The Way Toward Health, given on June 24, 26, and 27. Jane didn’t ask for these, but left it up to me to pick out something to read.

(I said I wished we’d never left Sayre, and she agreed. Maybe things would have been different. She said, “No autopsy.” When I asked her if she wanted to be buried or cremated, she expressed no strong wish for either mode, but finally chose cremation — maybe because I said what would I do if I wanted to move out of town a few years after she’d been buried. She hadn’t thought of that. She said as far as she knew her grandfather and grandmother and others were buried in Saratoga, though we aren’t sure about her mother. Her father, Del, is buried somewhere in Florida, we guess — we don’t know where.

(After I had her situated on her side, I sat back for my usual nap, but didn’t actually sleep much. I felt terribly sad. Jane had talked about how much she loved nature, and how she wanted to see the house one more time, and the cats. I told her about the four deer — three bucks and a doe — that I’d seen out back this morning, nibbling away in the so-called wildflower garden. Some blood-red poppies are up now.

(“I don’t know. We’ll see. Maybe I’ll start on something else and go right through it,” she said. She almost laughed. “But right now I’m trying to get through each night and day.”

(I’d like to add that while there’s life there’s hope, and that as Seth has said many times, one who doesn’t want to die — as Jane said the other day she didn’t — won’t for any reason. But I told Jane that I couldn’t ask her to do something she didn’t want to do. I added that I wouldn’t want to live under such conditions.