“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Her talk veered around to the fact that once again she said she was thinking of dying — in her sleep, maybe — in order to get some peace of mind, and to give me some. The pain is really bothering her at times. She talked about how she’d loved life, and the great times we’d had before she got sick, and even after that for a long while. She also said she was surprised her life was ending at such an early age. She told me I’d have a great life after her death, and be free myself.

(I told her I didn’t want to overdo it, so I turned her on her side. After my nap, I turned her back. As I propped her left leg with the pillow, I discovered that it would still move, for the tendons were still soft. At the same time Jane was in pain — natural enough, I said — for according to conventional belief, muscles that hadn’t been used were supposed to hurt. I also let loose with a few barbed comments, to the effect that she wasn’t about to let the body do its thing, no matter what it wanted.

(She’d kept her body down for years, I said, and now when it moved she hurt and complained, even though presumably the motion was what she wanted. I confused her, I learned, for she couldn’t tell the difference between my remarks about the body wanting freedom, and her grim desire to keep it down. I explained, and she seemed to get it straight. She was in a lot of pain, though, and I rang for the Darvoset again, since the staff was late with it.