“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(She had periodic bouts of panic as she ate, and we talked these out to some extent. I asked her to just not bury the feelings, and I don’t think she did. Jane came up with several excellent insights. One of them is that she may have associated punishment with physical motion — this idea stemming from her days at the Catholic home, where the youngsters were made to kneel for long periods of time as punishment for various “wrongs.” This came to Jane’s consciousness as we watched a very creative skit on the TV program Sesame Street. I’d never heard her make this connection before.

(I was pleased. In view of all of those early enjoyable events she’d had, I suggested she try focusing on them in times of stress, instead of the negative ones we usually talk about. All in all, I think we learned a great deal, and that we had hope after all, in contrast to my mood yesterday.

(Jane didn’t eat much for supper, which seemed okay. I was getting tired. I left at 7:15 and drove to the funeral home. I felt self-conscious about my blue jeans and shoes. I’d left the house so early and quickly I hadn’t had time to plan for anything to wear more formally. I carried with me the jacket I usually wear when I nap at 330 — it looked a bit more presentable.