“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I was eating breakfast at 7:50 when I received a call from the hospital. The call scared me at that hour. The nurse said Jane wasn’t good. They couldn’t get her comfortable, she wasn’t eating breakfast, and she wanted me to come down. Jan was to tell Jane at once if I’d see her. I left the breakfast, the cats, the house, turned off the lights, and drove down. I didn’t think it was a life-or-death crisis, but the result of our conversations lately, and the sessions, the panic attacks, and so forth. It was raining heavily when I left the house.

(At one time during breakfast when she became upset and panicky again, I repeated my use of suggestion/mild hypnosis as I had the other day. Again, results were good. Jane stared at me intently as I spoke each word.

(One of the new nurses had her 20th birthday today. Staff had a party and lots of goodies to eat, so a nurse put together more food for Jane and me. Jane ate fairly well. She also felt instances of the panic, though, having to do with her mother and family events, and we talked those out.

(Jane cried as she told me things I hadn’t heard before. I said she had to put the past in its place if ever she was to be free. She came up with a number of memories new to me — like going to the youth center on Saratoga Springs’ lower Broadway on weekend evenings to dance and socialize, and so forth. She cited many things she’d enjoyed doing very much — running, skating, dancing, and just sheer walking for the fun of it. Even then she had loved nature.

(Jane didn’t eat much for supper, which seemed okay. I was getting tired. I left at 7:15 and drove to the funeral home. I felt self-conscious about my blue jeans and shoes. I’d left the house so early and quickly I hadn’t had time to plan for anything to wear more formally. I carried with me the jacket I usually wear when I nap at 330 — it looked a bit more presentable.

(But I soon discovered at the funeral home that it mattered not; people wore anything. I met John, Margaret, and others there, and signed a guest book. Joe lay in a deep crimson casket. I told John that he really did look peaceful, as at no other time in his life. It was the same feeling I’d had staring at my parents in their respective caskets. People laughed and joked. I told John I expected to attend the service tomorrow at the funeral home, that I was willing to be an honorary pallbearer, providing the times worked out. They all understood, since they knew I’d been at the hospital all day. I don’t think I’d better consider being late to 330, after today’s events. I told the Bumbalos I’d call if anything came up early in the day. John said they have enough food to feed me for a week, after it’s all over. Life goes on, even in our reality.