“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(She had periodic bouts of panic as she ate, and we talked these out to some extent. I asked her to just not bury the feelings, and I don’t think she did. Jane came up with several excellent insights. One of them is that she may have associated punishment with physical motion — this idea stemming from her days at the Catholic home, where the youngsters were made to kneel for long periods of time as punishment for various “wrongs.” This came to Jane’s consciousness as we watched a very creative skit on the TV program Sesame Street. I’d never heard her make this connection before.

(I told her about Joe Bumbalo’s obituary notice that I’d found in yesterday’s paper, and that after I left 330 tonight I’d stop at the funeral home to see Joe and the family. Also, that I’d be going to the funeral tomorrow morning.

(Jane didn’t eat much for supper, which seemed okay. I was getting tired. I left at 7:15 and drove to the funeral home. I felt self-conscious about my blue jeans and shoes. I’d left the house so early and quickly I hadn’t had time to plan for anything to wear more formally. I carried with me the jacket I usually wear when I nap at 330 — it looked a bit more presentable.

(But I soon discovered at the funeral home that it mattered not; people wore anything. I met John, Margaret, and others there, and signed a guest book. Joe lay in a deep crimson casket. I told John that he really did look peaceful, as at no other time in his life. It was the same feeling I’d had staring at my parents in their respective caskets. People laughed and joked. I told John I expected to attend the service tomorrow at the funeral home, that I was willing to be an honorary pallbearer, providing the times worked out. They all understood, since they knew I’d been at the hospital all day. I don’t think I’d better consider being late to 330, after today’s events. I told the Bumbalos I’d call if anything came up early in the day. John said they have enough food to feed me for a week, after it’s all over. Life goes on, even in our reality.