“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(At 2:30 Jane began having panic attacks, just as she’s been doing lately. Crying and moaning. She again could not tell me what their source was, although we were pretty sure the same things were involved — mostly her mother. I cleaned her close-up glasses for her and told her to put them on when she resisted. Then I told her to read yesterday’s session as I held it for her. Something she wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t insisted. First she read the Seth material in the session, then the notes at my insistence.

(3:14. I read the session to Jane at her request. I hardly felt like it. I’d sensed anger again as the session progressed. I wondered what good it would do. Probably my own attitude and mood today, of course — yet the session could have been any one of a similar kind that Jane had given in the last ten years. And in all of those others she’d been in better shape to begin with — and still nothing had happened!

(I must have reached the point where I truly don’t think she wants anything but what she’s got — for after all, doesn’t each of us create our own reality? And what’s my part in all of this? Without doubt, my own frustrations and resentments were surfacing probably for my own safety.