“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(I got to 330 at 12:05, just as Jane was taking her Darvoset. She didn’t feel very good, but seemed to improve a bit later. When the lunch tray came, along with the cold ham plate Georgia had ordered for me, I wasn’t hungry. Jane also ate little, except for several cups of iced chocolate milk. I guess I got depressed when I saw that once again she just wasn’t going to eat much.

(At 2:30 Jane began having panic attacks, just as she’s been doing lately. Crying and moaning. She again could not tell me what their source was, although we were pretty sure the same things were involved — mostly her mother. I cleaned her close-up glasses for her and told her to put them on when she resisted. Then I told her to read yesterday’s session as I held it for her. Something she wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t insisted. First she read the Seth material in the session, then the notes at my insistence.

(3:14. I read the session to Jane at her request. I hardly felt like it. I’d sensed anger again as the session progressed. I wondered what good it would do. Probably my own attitude and mood today, of course — yet the session could have been any one of a similar kind that Jane had given in the last ten years. And in all of those others she’d been in better shape to begin with — and still nothing had happened!

(Jane seemed to feel and speak much better after the session. She went through another period of moving her arms and hands, and feet to a lesser extent, as I turned her at 4:30. I couldn’t help but tell myself I’d seen the same thing many times before, without lasting results.

(Carla helped Jane call me at 9:05 p.m., just as I was finishing this session. She sounded fairly good. We exchanged words of love for each other.)