1 result for (book:wth AND heading:"part two chapter 14 august 30 1984" AND stemmed:thought)
6/30 (20%)
Oh
dentist
die
lunch
worsening
(Yesterday when I got to 330 at 12:45 Jane lay on her side. She looked very poor — gaunt from eating far too little — like an aged fetus, I thought, in her drawn-up position.
[... 7 paragraphs ...]
(Jane could still hurry things up when she wanted to — hence the early session because I was leaving later. I must be more negative than I thought after all this time, for I didn’t believe her when she said she wasn’t going to die now. For it certainly does seem that her life is almost over. When she says these days that she’s going to die, I agree with her.
[... 14 paragraphs ...]
(When she finally asked me what I thought of the session, I had trouble expressing any hope, versus those negative feelings I’ve been aware of for so long now. I did say things like, “This morning while working on Chapter 9 for Dreams I had to reread some sessions from back in 1981 — and they’re perfect. They go into exact detail as to what was wrong, and they fit today like a glove. Only look where we are now — a lot worse off.” What had happened to the four years?
[... 1 paragraph ...]
(“But I do care,” Jane protested. “I care a lot. I’ve even thought of dying to let you go free.”
(“Believe me,” I said, “I’ve had the thought. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t …”
(I should add that I didn’t mean I wished she’d die so that I’d be free. I want her to live — with me, at home, working and singing. I thought of this in the dentist’s chair. I forgot to tell her when I got back at supper time, but will tomorrow. Jane called just as I was typing this session.)
[... 1 paragraph ...]
