“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

(Then I read her the Seth part of yesterday’s session, but not my notes. Jane said she felt a little better today generally, and I thought she acted it. “I don’t know if I’ll have a session today or not,” she said, “but keep your paper and pen handy.” And then she immediately began the session. Her words were loaded with emotion, more evenly delivered than yesterday’s session had been, yet still the rhythm wasn’t one of ease and speed.

(Jane wasn’t crying by now, but her reddened eyes and face must have been revealing, though no one said anything. “You never hurt anyone,” I said again. “I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” I held my tongue instead of cursing Marie, as I wanted to. “I’d better shut up, I guess, before I say more.”

(3:50. A nurse’s aide brought in Jane’s vitamins. Then another one came in to say hello and talk about the rain we were getting in spurts. “If any more of those kids come in I’ll scream,” Jane said when they’d left. But they’re all great people and a joy to see and depend upon, and obviously they like us.

(Long pause, eyes closed.) Such attitudes and dire misinterpretations often occur as mistakes in reading life, as if you insert an extra vowel or syllable that does not belong, but change the interpretation of an entire passage. Let the mistake, then, be erased.

(Not very long after the end of the session, Jane began making motions with both arms, raising them up from her body and rotating them. Her feet and toes also moved, and her head a little. The motions were reminiscent, on a smaller scale, of those she’d begun doing in October 1983, but eventually gave up on.

(When I asked her, Jane said today’s session and motions could be interpreted as being related to her dream for last night. She’d dreamed that once certain things, events, were set into motion, they inevitably would continue in their motion until they came true — then the world would end. “Well,” she said, “if I find out those things aren’t true, then the world isn’t going to end.” I said this seemed like a symbolic statement, the dream, that old beliefs meant she had no hope of extricating herself from a foregone conclusion. But if those events between Jane and Marie didn’t have to move on toward their inevitable end, as stated in the session today, then there was hope.

(This didn’t mean that I didn’t still feel bitterness toward Marie. Even if she didn’t grasp the issues involved, as Seth said, did this give her the freedom to so abuse another? A large subject, I know, and one chosen by all involved, but still …