“Seth material” search engine (Jane Roberts)

Many people who use drugs socially are playing a kind of psychological Russian roulette. Their feelings can run something like this: “If I’m meant to live, these drugs won’t hurt me, and if I’m meant to die, what difference does it make what I take?” They are taking a certain kind of chance with their own lives, however — those who indulge in such activities — and the stakes can be high.

This feeling of abandoning oneself to the power and force of one’s own life does not lead to a mental segregation, but instead allows the self to sense the part that it plays in the creative drama of a universe. Such understandings often cannot be verbalized. They are instead perceived or experienced in bursts of pure knowing or sudden comprehension.

In the case of the suicide, however, we see the opposite attitudes at their most drastic. To a strong extent, such individuals reject their own lives, and often the conditions of life in general. Many of them object that they did not want to be born in the first place, and they feel that way because they have so thoroughly repressed the will to life within them. They also often express a strong feeling of alienation from their parents, friends, family and their fellow men in general. Along the way they have forgotten the cooperative, playful ventures of childhood, and the expression of love itself becomes most difficult.